Independence Day, Kentucky Style

This excerpt is composed by my friend, who played Big Bad Uncle Sam for Independence Day in our parade this year. I was representing corporate America/GM.

I was Big Bad Uncle Sam in the Independence Day parade in Lexington yesterday. I marched with our local Campaign For Liberty group. I was wearing drywall stilts to add 15" to my height and I had five large pillows stuffed into a grossly oversized Uncle Sam costume that my wife made for me. I was over eight feet tall with my top hat, and almost four feet wide. I had a pig nose! I printed some trillion dollar bills with Bernanke's face on them and the back was a mini-ad for the C4L, with a plug for Rand Paul's senate race on the bottom. We gave out over 500 of those, Ginny's legislative action refrigerator magnets, official C4L recruiting brochures, pocket Constitutions, Bill of Rights bookmarks, etc.

Here's Big Bad Uncle Sam with Olivia and General Motors. Olivia handed out campaign literature for her 2040 presidential bid. She has a very small government platform. And like Ginny's sign says, "GM will Brown Nose for Bailouts!"

(how do I insert a photo?? ya'll would really love it!)

About a third of the crowd of 50,000 didn't seem to get Big Bad Uncle Sam, about a third got it and LOVED the parody of Big Government, and about a third hated it. A few of those big government advocates heckled me.

I was loud and overbearing. I promised people I'd print their stimulus checks out of thin air, but I'd take half of it back in taxes. Ginny, dressed in her GM costume, was begging me for money. Bazz, Scott and Mike passed out literature to the crowd. Darren and Wes carried the "We're all about some freedom in Kentucky" banner.

I had a good idea what I'd say to the crowd as Big Bad Uncle Sam, but I was surprised that when I was in character, I was channeling Dave Chappelle's angry character (minus the racial overtones and profanity). I'd tell the crowd:

"Hiya' taxpayers! Gimme all your money! I'm broke! And I need a few billion dollars to give to GM for their next bailout!"

Kids liked Big Bad Uncle Sam.

"Hiya' future taxpayers! Save your money, 'cause I'll be taxing you in ten years! You're gonna have to pay for these huge deficits! It's all on you, little future tax payers!"

The kids liked it when I talked to them. They didn't get it, but their parents surely did. Hopefully, they felt some shame for allowing our non-representatives to give trillions to their corporate buddies and making our kids pay for this corporate fascist socialist travesty.

I'd pick out the couple of people in each group that seemed to get Big Bad Uncle Sam the most and I'd engage them to make it personal. That seemed to be the best way to get the point across to the rest of the crowd.

"Your stimulus check is in the mail! I printed them out of thin air this morning, so it's going to cause massive inflation and the rest of your money will be worth less! Ha ha ha! I give you a check but I get all the money!"

I'd wave my five foot tall cane at the crowd and yell, "I'm Big Government, and I'm taxing all of you fine taxpayers! I've grown way too big, living large on your tax dollars. It's the 4th of July, and you just now finished working to pay all of your taxes for this year! Ha ha ha!"

As I was leaving, I'd wave back to the crowd and bellow, "Tax ya' later!"

My favorite part was passing in front of the reviewing stand. Local TV personalities were there, along with some people from the city council. There was a very nice introduction to the Campaign For Liberty, and how we're working for individual liberty and smaller government. Then I swept my big cane across the entire reviewing stand and shouted, "I'm taxing all of you people!" I pointed the cane directly at mayor Newberry, leaned toward him, locked eyes with him, and I boomed, "I'm taxing YOU mayor! I'm Big Government!" His eyebrows shot up and he and the local CBS talking head Barbara Bailey had this look on their faces that seemed to say, "Holly crap. What is THIS?"

I bet next year, there will be some tighter qualifications, with all parade applicants required to submit a description of what their parade entry will be. Heh heh heh.

I was worn out after the parade. Then we walked over to the TEA party at the courthouse and I mixed with the TEA Party folks and gave away the last of my trillion dollar bills and posed with 912ers who wanted a picture with Big Bad Uncle Sam.

I've slept most of the time since returning from the parade. I'm tired and sore all over, but it was worth it.

I appear as Big Bad Uncle Sam for a few seconds, about two minutes into this video from the local newspaper.
http://videos.kentucky.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=49144...