Comment: I commend you for your painful journey

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I commend you for your painful journey

I lost my faith when I pursued the proofs of God's existence. I read every argument I could find. I read St Anselm, St Thomas Aquinas, Decartes, Plato, and numerous other philosophers and theologians. I talked with priests, born-agains, and anyone else who seemed to have the answers. I convinced myself that they were right. I wrote my parish priest to explain the new depth of my belief in God, but in the middle of the letter I broke down. Down deep in my heart I knew that not a word of my letter was true. I did not find the proofs convincing. I was not a believer.

It took a couple of months to grapple with the implications of being honest with myself. My life, up to that point, was deeply entwined with the Church. I feared that my family, my friends, the larger social environment inwhich I lived, would reject me. I would be condemned to be alone.

All of that happened. But time heals all things, and in the course of a few years those who condemned me learned that I had not become a monster with two heads. I was the same person, maybe a little prickly about religion (just as x-smokers or x-drinkers can be a little over-the-top about anyone else smoking or drinking) but not a 'bad' person.

Today, I accept that there are heartful beliefs that give comfort to people, though I may think they are mistaken. I do not wish for religious believers to discard their beliefs...it is a process filled with pain and agony that should only be undertaken if their current religious beliefs are giving them doubts.

I became a happier and kinder person for my journey. I hope you find the same peace I did.