I love the satire in your list which often reveals the truth more eloquently than ordinary words can express.
Here is my counter/alter ego shot at why I am voting for Ron Paul stated simply and hopefully with the same positive effect of putting a fine point to all the reasons we can offer for a Ron Paul presidency.
TWELVE REASONS TO VOTE FOR RON PAUL:
1. He never voted to raise taxes, taken a government junket or voted for an unbalanced budget.
2. He got an Audit the Fed bill started albeit watered down by the statists (working on a stronger audit bill now) and awakened a nation about the dangers of central banking and the Fed’s reckless printing press.
3. He has always been opposed to the war in Iraq. He would bring the troops home which besides saving lives and costs would help boost the economy.
4. He voted against the Patriot Act.
5. He has always voted to preserve the Constitution. He called the NDAA a “slip into tyranny,” was the most vocal politico lambasting it and introduced amendment HR 3785 to repeal section 1021 of the unconstitutional liberty-stealing bill which Obama signed.
http://theopenglobe.org/wiki/Ron_Paul_introduces_bill_to_rep... THE RON PAUL AMENDMENT H.R.3785
6. He warned against the excesses of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac in 2001 and 2003 (before the House banking committee) predicting a real estate implosion if the government agencies were not reined in. He is the only politico widely credited with foreseeing the financial collapse years before it occurred.
7. He served honorably in the military for five years as a flight surgeon in the U.S. Air Force and Air National Guard.
8. He never voted himself a wage increase and, to this day, gives back part of his salary every year. He will reduce his salary as president to $39,366 equal to the median personal income of the American worker. Obama’s base yearly salary is $400,000.
9. He is the only POTUS candidate serious about a) cutting the debt and government spending ($1 trillion the first year) and b) ending the failed and costly War on Drugs. These efforts will a) benefit the taxpayer as well as b) benefit minorities who are disproportionately penalized in our court system.
10. At every opportunity he has opposed regulation of the internet and supports the revolution in the exchange of ideas.
11. He supports legislation to end taxes on social security benefits. His plan "honors our promise to our seniors and veterans," meaning that those currently in the programs could stay in them. He would not scrap Social Security or Medicare but offer an opt out for younger workers. His plan to end foreign aid, foreign entanglements and cut military (but not defense) spending will help balance the budget so as to preserve entitlements for seniors.
12. He maintains an “A+” rating from the uncompromising Gun Owners of America and an “A” rating from the NRA. He earned such ratings by introducing and supporting legislation friendly to gun owners. (Romney is rated D- by GOA and B by NRA).
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