Comment: You don't go to either right away anymore

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bigmikedude's picture

You don't go to either right away anymore

Nowadays you have to go through the ESA (Eternal Security Agency) pat down/screening first before entering purgatory.

Then you take a number, fill out a form, and float over to ERS (Eternal Revenue Service), pay any remaining taxes and/or penalties due, update your new address, and sign a waiver to relinquish any further Social Security Payments at the SSA (So-much-for-your Security Administration).

Then after you produce an I.D., Death Certificate, and two utility bills proving you now reside in purgatory or pre-judgment limbo to the ALB (Ascension License Bureau) you pay your federal passage fee, receive your new documentation of post-mortem citizenship, and the bailiff will then release you and escort you to the gates for judgment but retains the right to remove you from heaven, pending any remaining charges not herewith resolved, including but not limited to, fines, new taxes laid by congress, penalties, or accusations.