Comment: Congratulations!

Right now, the best thing you can do is be happy and love your baby's mother. This is a wonderful time! And it's a wonderful thing that you are already assuming responsibility for assuming your family. Parenthood requires one to grow and mature, and if you tackle the responsibilities with love and courage, you will gain wisdom and strength and power. Way to go!

Babies truly don't need a lot, just time, love and their basic physical and emotional needs cared for. I personally think that if you're surviving month to month, it isn't any shame to get Medicaid for your loved one and your child. The more you and your loved one trust the natural order of things, and you support her in her eat healthily and exercising (if she's up to it), the better things tend to go.

You might want to read "Amish Values for your Family" by Suzanne Woods Fisher. I'm learning a lot about the spiritual side of raising children independent of the modern world and its dependance on the government.

I would not recommend going into debt right now. Debt is slavery. However, I don't know what your degree is in. Sometimes it's better to forgo the degree and just get work, and other times it is worth it to get the degree so you can apply for a higher-paying job. However, with the way the market is going, you might want to try to get an apprenticeship (work and an education all in one). Only your personal study and prayer and council with your loved ones (including people you know and respect, such as your parents) can help you know what the best course of action is to providing for your family.

I would also recommend not being away from your family more than you have to be. Generally, between a higher-paying job that would take you away from your family, and a lower-paying one that you can be with your family more, choose the one that keeps you with your family. However, there are exceptions to this generalization, and only you can be in a position to determine which course is best for you and your family.

It's amazing how little people really, truly need, especially if they get creative with the resources they have. Babies really, truly don't need a lot of anything, just to be fed (breastfeeding, followed by your regular food ground up) and cleaned (cloth diapers, plain water, maybe a little bit of regular soap occasionally) and have a comfortable place to sleep (in arms, in slings, on a bed). As far as sickness goes, all you'd need is a nose-sucker and maybe a little bit of infant ibuprofen (to help with pain and fevers at night, so both baby and parents could get sleep).

I had Medicaid for my first two births, and there were months in which I survived off of WIC. Baby #1 was born in the hospital with an epidural, and all was well. Baby #2 was accidentally born at home, and all was well. Then hubby joined the military, and baby #3 was born in the hospital with no medication or immunizations and such, and all was well. Keep a positive mindset, trust that most doctors and nurses genuinely do want to help you, and things are more likely to turn out.

If your wife is open to giving birth without medication, I highly recommend Hypnobabies: it is powerful and versatile. It is a complete childbirth education course, and it comes in two forms: a class or a home-study course. It is a great help even to those women who are going to have a C-section or are fully intending on getting a epidural, because it helps the mother-to-be relax, be in control and not be afraid, as well as teaches them all about the birthing process and what danger signs to beware of and such. It works with your wife, no matter what her personality or personal beliefs are (Christian, athiest, pagan, whatever). It is a bit expensive, and it calls for plenty of time using the program, so I hope one of you has a friend or an associate who has Hypnobabies and is willing to let you borrow it.

Most of these things require both you and your child's mother to be in agreement. I most strongly recommend that both of you read your scriptures and start praying to God everyday, and basically develop or strengthen your relationship with the only one in existence who knows your child better than you or your wife do. If your wife is not on board with all of these very simplistic, natural ideas about babycare, your relationship with her is more important than being right. Use persuasion, but remain meek and humble, respecting her role as the mother. It's best if both of you pray and study together, but if only one of you does, that's better than if neither of you do.

If you and your loved one are not married, get married before your child is born, with the mutual assumption that marriage is permanent (yes, I know all about divorce): your child deserves to be born into a stable family, and if both you and your wife truly take your marriage vows seriously, it will strengthen you both through the hard times ahead. Seeing your example will greatly affect your child for good.

Gardening will help with your food bill. Look into your local resources, such as churches.

I have a scripture for you, one that I kept thinking about as I wrote this. This scripture talks about authority derived from the priesthood, but I believe it applies to authority of any kind, especially the authority of parenthood.

"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion."

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

"By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—

"Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;" (Doctrine and Covenants 121: 39, 41-43)

Lots of great parenting advice there, as well as advice to how to treat your wife (who is your equal partner, though that is easily forgotten. Ex: it is a great danger to assume that because you earn the money/earn the degree/have more knowledge than she does (I don't know), that you can ever say "Because I say so" to your wife. At the same time, it is a great danger for her to, for example, say that because she's the one carrying the baby and giving birth, that she has full say in the baby's name.)

I wish you the best, and above all I want you to do what works best for your family.