[A gaggle of reporters pepper NY Fed employee as she walks briskly down Liberty Street, attempting to arrive on time for work.]
Sandy, NY Fed: Yes, I work for the NY Fed; but, please don't blame me. I don't know anything about gold stored here. ... I know the NY Fed offers free gold vault tours. ... Please, I'll be late for work... I am a hard working girl... I shred records... Lot of overtime... More than that... I get blamed for a lot of mischief that goes on here; but, blaming me for trouble with gold tours is a bit of a stretch. Us employees that work here aren't even allowed to wear gold jewelry. ... Even silver is frowned upon... I'm really sorry... No. I have to clock in... Please, let go of my watch. It's not gold & it's mine. Let go!
[NY Fed guards approach.] ...
Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul ☑
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