Obviously you are extremely intelligent, well read, and have examined many alternative points of view to come to the conclusions you have.
So I respect it man. No bs.
What it all comes down to, for me, is this:
There comes a certain point where intellectualizing and theorycrafting about ideal / utopian scenarios becomes an end in itself.
There is a certain unique pleasure in forming intellectual / logical / left brained theories - of all kinds - that have an internal consistency, have an elegant structure, and can be written about and debated endlessly.
Yet always reality is out there, waiting, outside of your door.
People are what they are. Human nature is what it is.
This planet and homo sapiens being what we are, has serious limitations and they are what defines what is possible, or not.
In some other future world, where our brains and emotional / psychological impulses have evolved to the point where we could handle it ...
And where psychopathic inter-species predators are bred out of the population to an insignificant statistical factor?
Stateless society might be possible. Might even be a higher order of human relations and existence.
Probably will be.
But not now.