Comment: The Paul Harvey of doltishly enumerated PROBLEMS

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The Paul Harvey of doltishly enumerated PROBLEMS

The biggest Problem...is collective and second-hand thought by intellectual dullards. And now...the rest of the story...

PROBLEM:
"On October 30, Ascension Parish sheriff’s deputies arrested [ILLEGAL ALIEN] Elmer Alexander Esquivel Ramos, 33, after he allegedly beat and raped a 72-year-old woman as she slept in her bed." It was then brought to lite that 12 million illegal aliens had been informed of the impending assault via the La Raza Twitter feed and came bearing candles to light the 47 mile approach to the 72 year old's bedroom.

The Society of Illegal Alien Rapists (Los Sexycanos) spokesman, Emilio Weinstein Torres stated when interviewed by the Collective Untied Network Telecast, a subsidiary of "Demogogues United Mainly For Unknown Collectivist Knaves" clearly relayed the hispanic ideals of taking everything from old white ladies as could be possible and re-iterated the call to all hispanic nations for more "oversexed hispanic males" to come and take advantage of the target rich environment existing within the American borders as plenty more sexy 72-year olds were waiting with bated breath. It is unknown whether or not the call went out yet again.

PROBLEM:
"On Thursday, Eagle County sheriff's deputies arrested [ILLEGAL ALIEN] Ismael Lopez-Alvarez, 24, after he sexually assaulted a 4-year-old girl. He reportedly gained access to the victim after being invited to dinner at the home of her parents."

Local groups were outraged at the audacity of the assault and made such public outcry that the wailing was heard by BBC executives in New York who immediately contacted their leadership in London. An audience was requested with the Queen and a variety of sitting and ex-MP's and the date and venue set for the Jimmy Seville memorial celebration was re-set and relocated to Harnett County .

lvarez, whose charges have been dropped, will reportedly be the guest of honor at the celebration and will receive the time honored Key To the City of London and a personal tour of the Masonic Temple located in Alexandria Virginia will be given by 5 unnamed ex-presidents of the United States.

PROBLEM:
"On Wednesday night, [ILLEGAL ALIEN] Julio Cesar Revolorio Ramos, 28, was arrested on child prostitution charges after a brief investigation found that Ramos had been remiss to his payments to the local constabulary, and that one of his charges had bitten the left testicle of the town ombudsman while on probation for doing the same to 4 local sheriff's deputies on 7 separate occasions.

Ramoses business interests, which have been confisctaed by a local judge, will now be taken over by businessman and LEGAL IMMIGRANT Vasilly "The Knife" Petrogrov who has vowed to protect governmental testicles and remit his expected payments via the court clerks office for as long as he is permitted.

PROBLEM:
"On Wednesday, police in Garland arrested [ILLEGAL ALIEN] Bernardo Mondragon-Guzman, 41, for the alleged repeated sexual abuse of a 10-year-old boy. The rapes reportedly went on for more than a year".

When asked why the reports of the rapes that had been made over the course of the year hadn't resulted in anyone coming to the boy's aid, local police informed WBSHT reporters that Mondraon-Guzman was currently on paid leave pending an investigation and the Department had a strict code of silence regarding accusations made about employees whose investigations were pending.

As purported by Department spokesman Emilio Mondragon-Guzman, all internal departmental investigations must commence, by law, within 12 months of an officer's maximum service retirement date. WBSHT has been assured that all guidelines will be followed in the matter.

PROBLEM:
"On Friday, Greenville County sheriff’s deputies arrested [ILLEGAL ALIEN] Emmanuel Ignacio-Falcon, 25, after he reportedly broke into a home and sexually assaulted an 11-year-old girl in her bedroom." Again it was found that immediately prior to the assault, a strange candle light vigil consisting of 12 Million cheering illegal aliens lit a path directly to the door of the 11-year old girl.

The Society of Illegal Alien Rapists (Los Sexycanos) spokesman, Emilio Weinstein Torres, when contacted by "Demogogues United Mainly For Unknown Collectivist Knaves" was clearly paraphrased as saying that "the hispanic ideal that used be to take everything from old white ladies as could be possible had been re-assesed. That upon further investigation, it was determined as best to widen the net from just old white ladies to encompass 11 to 72 years olds as the success of the previous call to all hispanic nations for more "oversexed hispanic males" to come and take advantage of the target rich environment existing within the American borders was being narrowed by previous arbitrary age restrictions.

Wha? .....hey....who stole my country?