"So, are you saying to me that when you quit responding that means shut up?"
I did not say that, nor did I mean that, and if I were inclined to shut you up, I could say so, or just stop reading. The concept of an ongoing discussion is that it is ongoing. If it is no longer on going, there are many possible reasons why it is no longer going on. When it is no longer going on, it is no longer going on, and to me that is the point, it ends. If it doesn't end, yet, then it doesn't end yet. So why worry about it?
Are you worried about it?
"I’d rather you just say shut up before I overextend my welcome."
I'm not the type that self censors well, so my tendency is to let you know right away, when there is anything unwelcome going on.
"Like, OK, I’ve had about enough of your intolerable silliness and unintelligible and unintellectual communication, so could you please keep it to yourself for now on. Or, maybe something less insulting."
That quote above my come in handy some day, but probably not for me.
"My depression comes from inside."
That is amazing. While I have been mulling over the ideas colliding in my head, it occurred to me to express the following:
If a person can't fix something internally unless there is an external solution, then all the time and energy in the world spent finding solutions internally won't work.
If a person can't fix something internally unless there is an internal solution, then all the time and energy in the world spent finding solutions externally won't work.
Now I read your sentence and find similar words reinforcing my earlier internal battles, so the answer is both internal and external as far as I am concerned.
"…the thoughts are so intolerable and so miserable!"
My wife had similar trouble, and for a short time so had my daughter suffered. The question arises, seriously, are these thoughts entirely your accountability, as you say: internally?
If the problem is infected many people, not just you, there may be a common denominator, something that is not coincidentally happening with you, my wife, my daughter, and so many other people.
To me I see falsehood being measured. Could there be a way of comparing incidence of depression within a false front culture like ours, side by side, with a culture that is not built upon lies?
What differences would be knowable between the incidences of depression in group A compared to group B?
You probably won't get a chance to read this:
When my thinking, internally, runs out of new, exiting, challenging, battles to wage, between devils and angles, then I could, I suppose, allow any thought to enter my head, or, I can read a book.
I've read a few books so far.
"I have experience enough to know that medication fixes that for me."
What is one of the effects of ingesting fluoride? Is it more common for women to be adversely affected by fluoride ingestion then men? Is there something in the make-up?
I don't know. I do know that criminals find ways to drum up more business, when business stagnates.
"I respond almost immediately to medication which causes me to believe there is a true chemical deficiency, not just something external that needs maskedFor me SSRI’s at the right dose allow me to feel, but not ruminate."
If I do not take blood thinners, so the story goes, I could produce another blood clot and be less lucky the next time. What causes blood clots? The official answer is that they don't know.
When the problem is real, the real solution is better than the counterfeit one? What caused the original problem?
The authorities are as clueless as the...
What is the word?
Seriously, the book linked above, is worth something, the price isn't "out of this world".
"It was the first time since 6th grade that I had mental peace. I have found the happy medium on medication so I want to be there. It is a good place. It is a place where I can enjoy myself as well as those around me. It might be possible for me to just go with whatever, but I have a very public life, so I cannot live in a cave. I must deal with people all the time and I want to feel good about it and I want them to feel good about the interaction as well."
The smile measures the condition of life well enough, in my wife's case, and it isn't a high type of smile, on the drugs she is using, she is able to smile without the demons infecting her mind - which is not a clinical prognosis, since I'm no authority.
My daughter managed to get in and out of the hell hole with a short supply of a specific drug, and now she is past that episode, not refilling the prescription.
It is far from recreation.
"No, but I have had trouble driving before. I find it best to stop! It is frightening to wake up right before rear-ending someone!"
The context was to discuss that condition of life that appears to be intolerable (not clinical depression), where some exhaustive work, then sleep, may fix that condition of life that appears to be intolerable.
When clinically depressed there is no sleep, or so I've seen, where the concept of "sleep" may be understood better when comparing someone who can sleep, eyes closed, and all that, next to someone whose eyes are closed, but the battle goes on, and "sleep" isn't really "sleep", and rather than leaping out of bed, to meet the challenge of a new day, the "sleeper" wakes up dreading that increase in awareness, and the fact that "sleep" time is over.
Modern drugs are not bottled lobotomies, if my wife and daughter are examples, which brings me to another book:
Along with very bad people doing very bad things are good people doing good things so it may be a good idea to avoid confusing the two?
"I am fortunate that I am able to talk about it and seek help immediately. I can recognize the symptoms."
The solution, or treatment, is a combination of internal and external power?
"Thank you for not rejecting me in my weakness. I am hoping that when I wake up in the morning the feelings of this week will be history like they are now."
I can't help much, few and far between are the moments where my thoughts are my enemy instead of a welcome challenge.
Your thoughts are a welcome challenge - thanks.
I have to get moving.