Comment: Walk a mile in her shoes

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Walk a mile in her shoes

Kids don't come with instructions, and every one of them is unique. Parenting techniques that work with one kid will get the opposite results with another.

We can second-guess Mrs. Lanza's parenting skills all day, but none of us were there, none of us knew what was going on behind closed doors, none of us had to deal with the consequences.

I've heard her second guessed by a neighbor who thought Mrs. Lanza was too strict and should have lightened up. I've heard people who didn't even know her that she must have been too lax. Give me a break.

However, I will agree on one thing...and one thing only...that having weapons in a house with a person who had a history of not being able to control his emotions was a mistake...one that she paid for with her life.

I decided not to have a weapon in my house for that exact reason. Otherwise, I took a lot of criticism for how I raised my son, none of it from anyone who saw the day-to-day struggles. The unsolicited advice, raised eyebrows, the disapproving comments from friends and family (many of them childless), were not helpful. They were not even in the ballpark. None of them lived with the emotional rollercoaster, the rages, t;he despair, and the threats of violence. None of them got to watch their otherwise normal child act very abnormally. None of them got refered to "professionals" whose only solution was drugs. None of them dealt with the effects of those drugs.

(I am glad to say he has grown into a fine, responsible, and intelligent young man...so maybe my wife and I did the RIGHT things by using our own best judgement instead of following the advice of outsiders...whose own kids often major issues later in life.)

So stop second guessing the mother. Mourn her death; she did not deserve it.