Comment: How about this one?

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In reply to comment: I never really took offense (see in situ)

How about this one?

Pig: I am going to have to ask to search you.

Me: I do not feel comfortable with that.

Pig: your eyes are red, we have probable cause to search you because you are driving intoxicated (I had smoked weed earlier, and was sitting in my car with the engine off). We could do this with your compliance or we can do this in cuffs.

(Search entire car, me, and passenger)

Pig: We found this marijuana in the car, whose is it.

Passenger: It's mine, I have a medical card.

Pig: It doesn't have a county approval stamp on the card, so it is invalid. I will let you off with a warning if you stomp out all of your weed (medication)

(Still takes pictures, fingerprints, ssn, id's, etc.)

They are almost welcoming street justice.