Comment: Wish-wash

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So you "supported" Rand, which means you actively participated in his efforts. Now... um, I mean at this point... you think he's a troll, which means Rand was deliberately trying to infiltrate and throw you off to waste your energies.

So maybe he is. But anyone of integrity, who actually believed this, would refuse to be trolled any longer and would just move on. You're presenting yourself as troll bait, still fixated on your long lost troll.

It may be that you're struggling with some coming of age stuff. Maybe you're just conflicted by the realization that it's not all black and white and men of good conscious can have differences of opinion without calling the other "enemy" or "troll." Stick with it; you just might exit the world you need and your at-this-point-for-whatever-I'm-feeling-at-the-moment mindset and break on into the world that needs you.