Comment: Doesn't always work

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Doesn't always work

You know,

Sometimes people try, and it just doesn't work. My husband and I took my mother in for 3 months. My father had gone into a veteran's nursing home a few months before, and my mom finally agreed to come and stay with us. We also had four children with one on the way (9 yrs. and under). My mother has Parkinson's as well as a bad knee cap (injured after her knee replacement, and they can't really do anything for it) that seriously impairs her mobility.

I ended up not giving her enough attention, and she didn't like being around my sometimes bickering kids, and she ended up calling the police on my husband a couple of times because he was 'intimidating.' This same husband built solid wooden ramps in our house in case she might some day come and live with us - so just on a maybe, he did that. He helped adapt the bathroom and shower for her. He, along with my brother helped move her furniture in, along with setting up a couple of different beds for her because she had a bad back. He pushed her wheelchair sometimes, and even got down on the ground to help her move her foot if it got stuck.

On Christmas Eve, he was wrapping presents in the room next to hers, and had to walk the hallway to transport presents or wrapping materials to and from the tree. She called the police on him for walking in his own hallway. We think she was having a bit of paranoia issues because of medication, and she was also having hallucinations of mice in her room. She decided to move out - we did not put her out. I was hopeful until the end that maybe we could work it out, but she was miserable in our house. She lived in MA, and we moved up to NH to find a big enough place to try to take my parents in (we moved before my father went into a nursing home, but though the place was bigger it was also a big fixer-upper, so we weren't ready to take anyone in when he gave into dementia). So the change to NH was too much for her to take. We have neighbors, but it's kind of wooded around the house, so it's a bit hard to see their houses. I mean, we only live about 8 minutes away from the center of town and shopping, etc., but right around the house it just seemed too isolated for her. Every time we went out driving, especially at night, she always- always without fail- said something derogatory about the area we lived (usually that there weren't enough street lights, and the hills were too scary). She's used to seeing her neighbors' houses.

It didn't work. I'm still trying to help her, but I can see why some people just can't take someone in. It isn't always so cut and dry.

Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle. Mary, Our Mother, protect us under your mantle.