You have been blessed to be one of the few to see the collapse coming, you better than anyone have a chance to survive. You should be greatful. Adopt, adapt, improve.
You may not seek it, but you have the potential to be a great leader.
You must decide what you want in life and make it happen. Be prepared to put it all on the line. If you think your dead anyway, you have nothing to lose right?
In the end it always comes back to "only the strongest survive"