We are VERY poor--financially that is. But very rich in life, love, and laughter. You need to get some confidence. You can support yourself, but you're going to have to get some nerve and figure out how. I'm not trying to insult you, I want better things for you than being depressed and ready to give up on life.
Read this, maybe it will help.
Christians should not be warmongers! http://www.lewrockwell.com/vance/vance87.html