We need to get together again soon. I've known since 2008 that this wasn't the path for me, and have been hanging around waiting for others, waiting for others to see what you just described.
I am recently coming to the conclusion that the Daily Paul is part of the problem - at least the way it is configured now. And so I have been encouraging others to write authentically, write from the heart, what you are seeing. It doesn't matter if others don't see it the same way. What matters is honoring that that is driving up so powerfully from within - Not ignoring it and not forsaking it. Not trying to fit into a broken system, and not breaking yourself against it in the vain hope of fixing it.
You don't choose the roles, the roles choose you, is what I said. However, once you see they are just roles, you have the power to change them. You have the freedom to chose whatever game it is you choose to play.
Your closing paragraph is so powerful I have to quote it again:
I am sitting here emotionally and morally defeated with the realization that I am fighting giants with a fist full of bee bees. That no matter what path I feel I am on, the fruits of any moral victory will be spoiled by a wicked and toxic environment. That in fact the house always wins, and that the good guys are always mocked and scorned. So I guess I am a loser. I accept this fact, because I prefer not to become the monster that it takes to win in that environment.
This is what I say: Funk that game. Let's go do something so fun, so beautiful, of such service to humanity that people will be begging to join us. That the politicians will be sucking up to us for our endorsement. Funk the government. It is possible that we can achieve something like that in the free market. I believe that to be so.
To be mean is never excusable, but there is some merit in knowing that one is; the most irreparable of vices is to do evil out of stupidity. - C.B.
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