Comment: "Sometimes I amaze myself" - Printer-That-Be (PTB)

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"Sometimes I amaze myself" - Printer-That-Be (PTB)

PTB: Sometimes I amaze myself. Right on time.

[Imp sports trademark stove pipe hat. Briskly turn corner onto Wall Street.] My brisk walk to Manhattan first thing in the morning refreshes my constitution. I feel like I can conquer the world! Like a million bucks! Two million!

[Drop carpetbag on Wall Street sidewalk. Pull out & open portable table & sandwich sign. Arrange sales pamphlets on table. Start sidewalk barking for gold & silver option sales.]

PTB: Options! Futures! .... Gold! Silver!

[Rabble gather.] Gold, Silver, Platinum, & Palladium [option prices] just took a synchronized nose dive into the abyss. All together! Bungee cord securely fastened, just when all was sure to be lost, suddenly prices stopped their descent. Up, up & away! Value was saved. [Mine!] Your elastic currency is once again saved! .... And of course another dive into the abyss. Saved again.

Well, are you in? Or are you sitting this one out? Gentlemen, you are with me, or you are sidelined. You cannot save yourself to riches. You cannot loss!... Don't be silly. Come on! Join in. The liquidity is fine.

All around the world I have folks hypnotized watching me swing my Monopoly Money in front of their wherry eyes. Back & forth. Back & forth. The price of my paper contract... my option. My promise [Smirk]. The world as they know it, is the very illusion I make. So come along. Pay & let us all go for the ride!

So, now that you know (some of) the rules, come on and play. What will you have? Silver option (promise)? Or gold option (promise)?

[Crowd dwindles as options sell out quickly.] What's that you say?... Palladium & Platinum are for professional investors... No telling... So you want to be a professional? Come over here. [Move off to the side of the rabble; speak in whispers; turn up hearing aid.] Well there is a particular mine. Stillwater Mine... Shhh. Somebodies coming.

[Casually bark for watch, jewelry & token sales.] Watches! .... Jewlry!... Tokens! Got them right here. Watches!...

[Murmur softly under breath.] The buck never stops. I will conquer the world [Deep breathe.] One buck at a time.

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul