that things are going so wrong with you these days. I can tell you that if you are somewhere where you can get shiatsu treatments that they worked wonders for me after a serious car wreck. They do wonders for you spiritually and physically if you can find the right shiatsu doctor. It's very healing. Also, I have had you in my thoughts ever since you lost your dad. You probably have more people thinking about you than you could ever know for what that is worth. I feel for you and so do many others (once again, for what that's worth) keep keeping on, you deserve better times and you WILL find them!