You can try to explain it away but the Bible is clear.
God is not sadistic in taking pleasure upon the punishment of those whom He does not save. But because He is just, he does exact punishment.
All Scripture must be read in context. The verse in 2 Peter you listed was written to *believers* -- those who had already obtained "like precious faith." The letter was written to encourage them who had been scattered abroad by persecution. Peter was encouraging them to remain steadfast under affliction, for God indeed is not willing that any of those for whom He died perish.
Here are plain Bible teachings that God does not love all men, and indeed treats people differently. Now we are all worthy of punishment in hell for there is none good, no not one. But God, in his mercy, makes distinctions among men and does not give some what they deserve. He is right to do so for He is God. Have you never read Romans 9?
"(For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;) It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.
What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy"
Here are several verses that plainly teach God does not love all men:
***Psalm 5:5, "The boastful shall not stand before Thine eyes; Thou dost hate all who do iniquity,"
***Psalm 11:5, "The Lord tests the righteous and the wicked, and the one who loves violence His soul hates."
***Lev. 20:23, "Moreover, you shall not follow the customs of the nation which I shall drive out before you, for they did all these things, and therefore I have abhorred them."
***Prov. 6:16-19, "There are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him: 17 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run rapidly to evil, 19 A false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers."
***Hosea 9:15, "All their evil is at Gilgal; indeed, I came to hate them there! Because of the wickedness of their deeds I will drive them out of My house! I will love them no more; All their princes are rebels."
Further, in the New Testament we see that Jesus did not die for all men, but for the "sheep." He is not a failure, He is a successful Savior and saved all those that He intended to save. He prayed for those whom He saved, and made a distinction between them and the world (John 17). Read John 6, John 10, John 17...
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