Comment: Excellent..

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Excellent..

Get it copywritten and published.. put a book/ collection of your work.. could be 12.. like gold in granit, this poem is worthy and I would prefer you to get the royalties rather than some "identy theft". You want an entertainment attorney, preferably one with international experience.

My critique (since you posted, I'm as-uming you want feed back):

The simplicity of the words and format apply to a elementary level, and denile was immediate, "livid and lamenting" (apathy, which I fight, you see, so I am in denile, but aware that it is true). So, I'm feeling, elementary denile of apathy, end of first stanza.

Creator and logic... reams of tomes have been written about this God and reason, creator and logic; Aristotle, Aquinas, Ayn Rand; in your second stanza's opening, you take me from elementary denile of apathy, and elevate me to a mind blowing (our matter is ever expanding.. personal) union of creator and logic resolved with truth.

The third stanza impresses me as the action of the "livid and lamenting" (apathy), as if saying that time and evolution is only natural, granit mountain one day, sand the next) and so by seeing the granit as apathy.. there is hope created (like a tear drop), we are one of those blessed living pebbles God frees when the apathy shatters.

It will be crushed.. like a tsunami.. the forth stanze washes ashore and in the name of blowback, spits us back to the time before we came to the first stanza, and it's hard and cold and cruel out here in granit land.. you have to read the poem again to get that God/Logic high.. that comes so fast and smooth.. really great, gets the blood going.

Thank you and good luck.