Everyone certainly isn't a collectivist in the political sense, and probably neither are you.
The family is however the natural scope of 'collectivism' cooked into us. Evolutionarily it is important that your family survive and propagate your genetic heritage. Even if you die, everyone in your family that survives to a greater or lesser extent will pass on your genes, so we evolve family protective and family oriented behavior. If you don't believe in evolution it doesn't matter if you believe god just made people this way, the result is the same. Ironically 'family values' are actually built in to us.
The problem arises when manipulators try to use this tendency and extend it into the political sphere. Here there is no natural reason for people to behave in a collectivist manner.
Collectivism in the political sense, ie government enforced collectivism, is where the problem lies.
This is a very important distinction.
You may have a 'collectivist' "the family is more important than any individual member of the family" orientation, but that is your choice and applies only to you. You may sacrifice yourself for your family in some way. However it's rarely, if ever, the case that you would sacrifice say your daughter to save your sons. In fact if you heard of someone that did this you might think they were a monster. Or perhaps you might sympathize. But to the extent it's valid, if it is, it's only valid in the context of the family.
You wouldn't be inclined to forgive someone who killed a jew for the greater good of white people or vice versa.
You certainly wouldn't be agreeable if someone else was willing to sacrifice your children to save their own.
Yet this is what collectivism is.
When we say something like the good of the whole outweighs the good of the part what we are really saying is the good of some people outweighs the good of others.
It's always people we are talking about. The 'whole', whatever that whole is, all of the people, or some racial or ethnic subset or economic subset, is just an excuse for some people to victimize other people.
There is no other reason to promote collectivism in fact unless you intend to victimize someone.
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