Comment: "People Don't Need Pressure Cookers!" says Governor Cuomo

(See in situ)

"People Don't Need Pressure Cookers!" says Governor Cuomo

Governor Cuomo announced at a press conference in Albany today:

"There is absolutely no reason for citizens to have access to pressure cookers. They're dangerous if not used properly and because of public education, the average person is too dumb to read instructions."

"Therefore on behalf of my concern for the safety of all New Yorkers, I am strongly urging the legislature to mandate licensing of pressure cookers, requiring the redesign of safety features to automatically ring a bell and audio announce, "Danger, danger, Will Robinson," require training for their proper usage, re-certification every two years and on demand periodic inspection by local law enforcement without a search warrant."

"I will not rest until this pressure cooker menace is brought under control of State government to ensure the safety and security of every one of the tax paying public."

A collective sigh of relief was heard from the sycophantic media as they clapped and cheered for the governor's proclamation. Once again the State has rescued us from our own incompetence and lack of commonsense (burp). We are protected and safe from this danger by the all seeing and all knowing plenary power of government. All hail absolutum dominium.