Comment: Breaking news from Ecuador!

(See in situ)

Breaking news from Ecuador!

Ironically, despite multiple public statements he would never commit suicide, today while flying in a chartered plane owned by In-Q-Tel, infamous whistleblower Julian Assange committed suicide by multiple gunshots to the back of his head, while hanging himself, with his hands tied behind his back, during a plane crash, into a skyscraper, which promptly pancaked.

Authorities suspect no foul play and he has already had a private burial at sea from a C-130 flying over the Atlantic.

After the break we will hear from Al Gore how extremely cool temperature and even snow in May are further proof of global warming.