I know exactly what you are saying. I never had the words strong enough to describe what I felt on the days leading up to it, but "paralyzed with fear" says it all.
I hope that you have been able to come to terms with it, but I know I still haven't. It's been 13 years and it took me this long to feel comfortable sharing this with a bunch of strangers on the Internet. I pray that you will soon feel the relief I just did when I clicked the submit button.
You sound like an incredibly thoughtful and intelligent person. I'm sure your mom understands and is 100% in your corner.
Want DP delivered to your inbox daily? Subscribe here: