It was nice of you to start a thread about losing your mother. It can serve a comfort for those of us who have lost her and as a source of advice for those who still have her.
It's been 24 years for me. I don't feel sad or guilty anymore. Time does heal all wounds. I found that mourning would fade and then come back again, fade again, and come back again. Sort of like an elliptical orbit around the pain that gradually moves away from the source, but at times intensifies although at a diminshed intensity than the last time. Hopefullly that makes sense.
I gained a better understanding of the whole situation. To finish off my healing, I now have three little children to fill the hole in my heart. I will try to raise them to be unselfish and think of the family as a team. I'm going to homeschool them to keep them close, and teach them responsibility for themselves and "the team." Hopefully I can give them the right frame of mind to deal with tragedy if it comes their way. (I will also use lessons from the Ron Paul homeschool curriculum.)
Thank you for your prayers, and I will also pray for your continued healing from the trauma of losing your mom. No doubt your mother is in Heaven with perfect understanding of everything that happened and feels only love for you.