Comment: Mike, some great suggestions

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Mike, some great suggestions

Mike, some great suggestions below.

It sounds like you've been gracious and gone beyond the call to address the issue yourself. She's been unwilling. I guess I'd just tell Pat that she has no right to shine light on your property and she is required to discontinue interfering with your property.

Remind her that you are capable and willing to help her bring her light into compliance.

If she continues to refuse, I'm with the folks that recommended a spotlight on her windows. Sometimes folks need a visceral experience to help them understand the problem from another's perspective. I would tell her ahead of time that you're frustrated and want to show her what her failure to contain her lighting from other's property feels and looks like.

I get up way earlier than the rest of my family. In the summer, I like to play my violin on the front porch. I've asked my neighbors on both sides if it bothers them and told them that if it ever does, to please tell me. I'm fortunate that both my neighbors at least pretend to enjoy it. But I understand -- and Pat needs to understand -- that the onus is on the property owner that creates the thing that flows across property lines.

When you approached her with a request and then offered to fix things for her, you may have inadvertently fostered an attitude in her that HER light was YOUR problem. The light is HER problem. Whatever you do in the future, perhaps this subtle shift would help. "Pat, YOU'VE got a problem. Your light is reaching over your property line. I'm willing to help YOU with YOUR problem.

Good luck. I'm blessed with terrific neighbors and hope to always return the favor. But I've got a couple of friends with neighbor issues. From what I know, it's rarely the actually light pole or violin playing, or whatever. There's usually a subtext. Invite Pat and her family over for dinner and stargazing.