Comment: Have Fun in Jail

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Have Fun in Jail

If not the morgue. You asked for suggestions.

Haven't you ever seen those perennial news expose's where one of you ends up dead and the other one lands in jail because of this type of war? The only happy endings I've ever heard of were on Dr. Phil after major intervention by a sane person on national TV.

Given your present offensive, I wonder whether your neighbor felt your other offers were genuine or threatening (since you took an immature action)? If you had stopped there and taken the fight to court, a judge could have given you credit for having been more than generous. Now the collaterally-damaged neighbors will all testify that it's a feud.

The advice in this situation is to make friends, first, then ask for what you want. Why would she take you up on your offer, now? You've made it win-lose, and she can only lose by doing so. (Do you have a wife or girlfriend who could give it a try?)

I prefer not to suggest government intervention because they can't be trusted. If you were being generous, you could take it to the press (write a letter to the local paper) and let others apply pressure, but that's a bit offensive, too.

You could install a mirror. It's quiet. If you can't do this the nice way.

I had the same light problem--the city installed new street lights that were shorter (below the now mature tree line) than the old. All over town they had to paint the globes with black paint to keep the light out of bedroom windows, but they did it, because they had to.

Your first offers were more than generous, and that's the approach you should continue to follow: no one will side with you in a war--not when she's been there that long and you are acting like a bully by equally violating her rights.

You have to maintain maturity so that her irrationality is obvious to any others you involve in conflict resolution.

What do you think?