President Barack Obama does push-ups, for some reason. Pete Souza/Flickr
Royal Proclamation: Show his majesty proof you are who your autobiography says you are! ... For the testimony you are about to provide: Do you swear to tell your own life story? Your whole life story? Nothing but your life story? So help you against yourself?
[Kettle makes veiled attempt to discredit all whom write autobiographies of themselves. Disavows autobiographies as evidence of any crime.]
Reference: Hot Scoop: "Obama Didn't Write His Own Love Letters" — By Tim Murphy. Published by Mother Jones May 16, 2012
Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul ☑