And therein lies the conundrum.
No, of course they won't allow you to not participate, because if they did and you still benefited from certain govt activites (like true natl defense) then you'd be freeloading, and if they allowed YOU to freeload then many others would want to as well.
So no, you must submit to their govt, and thus to coercion.
And once one accepts the concept of coercion as legitimate we ultimately will end up right back where we are today.
I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. Albert Einstein