you should start your own news organization. You could call it the Funyun and your motto could be "When all else fails, lower your standards". You could really take your time and uncover the real truth behind who the "Shamans" are(there's more to that story)and the dangers of getting "stoked". You are so much better than the Onion, I feel certain you would never let people believe giant crabs are harmless, seriously, the regular ones are so hard to get rid of, do they think we're stupid? You could also clear up the smoking in the McDonalds Playplace conundrum for us, that would really take a load off my mind. Personally, I found your exposé "How I Know My Mayor Never Built a Bomb" a real eye opener. You could also use your publication to promote Cudnoski's Law, you're really onto something there and if you play your cards right maybe you could parlay that into your very own page on Wikipedia. Unfortunately, I don't think you could actually earn a living doing this but it would give you chance to dust off your copy of "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook" and put the skills you've learned to the test.
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