disagree with you. I have the same sinking feeling of what you just expressed.
There is definitely a sense of frustration given that we all (at least we thought) were close, and still nothing was told to us until after he was gone.
One of our neighbors and close friends who lives directly across the street is a Christian AND a doctor. I can't for the life of me understand why they couldn't have at least trusted him. He was close to them as well. It's a tremendous void, not just in his family, but in our little community.
I get the feeling that the members of their "church" were much closer than we were, and the reason we weren't told is because they didn't want interference from people who didn't understand their ways.
Our family just finished signing a sympathy card which was delivered to his widow. It was one of the harder things I've ever had to come up with words for.