I wish you to see the light before it is too late. Before the door of mercy closes on you. Because even now your life and your every breath is supported and uphold by the mercy of the Lord God Almighty.
There was a story about a rabbi took in an old traveler for the night. When they sat down and talked, the rabbi ask him what was his religion. The 100 year old man said I am an atheists and hates things of religion. Then the rabbi said, if that's the case, then you can't stay here, you have to go, and he turned him out. But after the rabbi sat down, God spoke to him, "why did you turn that 100 year old man out?" The rabbi answer, "I can't bear that atheist even for one night!" God answered, "I have bear him for 100 years and you can't bear him for one night?" Then he realized the truth can rushed out and got the old man back and treated him like a brother.
So while there's breath, there's hope and mercy for you! But don't wait till the door closes on this side of eternity and then it's too late. Don't want you to end up on the wrong side of eternity!