Comment: "The Ozone Hole" Was a Lost Episode of the X-Files

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"The Ozone Hole" Was a Lost Episode of the X-Files

Although the concept for the show was discussed at length, the script never made it to final production for fear the public would be unable to understand the hidden meaning of the plot. Here is a excerpt of that show:

FBI special agent Fox Mulder is sitting in a chair in his basement office munching on what appears to be a slice of Swiss cheese. Agent Dana Scully opens the door, walks in and sees her partner twirling the cheese with his finger through one of the holes.

Scully: “Aren’t you a little too old to be playing with your food, Mulder?”

Mulder (ignoring the sarcasm): Scully, have you ever wondered why things in our world have holes in them?”

Scully: “Probably to put something in or take something out, I imagine.”

Mulder: “It’s because without holes, people would have nothing to complain about.”

Scully: “Huh?”

Mulder: “Yes, it’s true. Take this slice of cheese for example. If it didn’t have holes there’d be no reason to criticize the number of holes or the size of the holes in each slice. People could see with their eyes they’re getting their monies worth for each slice of cheese they bought. There’s no reason to think they’re getting gypped.”

Scully: “So what are you really getting at, Mulder?”

Mulder: “I was thinking about the environmentalists and their crusade to fill up the hole in the atmospheric ozone layer. I’ve come to the conclusion they know the hole is being caused by an extraterrestrial presence stealing the ozone for some nefarious purpose to deny the world its protection from the dangers of ultraviolet radiation. I think we need to investigate this, Scully.”

Scully: “Mulder?”

Mulder: “What, Scully?”

Scully: “I think the holes in your head have clouded your understanding of the issue.”

Mulder: “Why do you say that?”

Scully: “The whole ozone depleting hype is based on a misinterpretation of atmospheric phenomena. There has been no proof of a direct correlation between the size of the hole in the ozone layer and increases of reported skin cancers worldwide caused by UV rays. It’s nothing more than a pretext to cause panic and fear in people.”

Mulder: “So there isn’t a UV danger, after all?”

Scully: “Nope, it’s a government hoax.”

Mulder: “And aliens aren’t stealing the ozone?”

Scully: “Only in your mind, Mulder. Only in your mind.” :)