Comment: 11.6 Names of aircraft, vessels, and spacecraft

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11.6 Names of aircraft, vessels, and spacecraft

11.6 Names of aircraft, vessels, and spacecraft

The names of aircraft , vessels, and manned spacecraft are italicized unless otherwise indicated. In lists set in columns and in stubs and reading columns of tables consisting entirely of such names, they will be set in roman. Missiles and rockets will be set in caps and lowercase and will not be italicized.

Names of vessels are italicized. Therefore birth certificates and other documents with names not italicized cannot be certifying you to be a vessel, and maritime law does NOT apply. A lot of people have gotten themselves into trouble for not understanding this simple, obvious fact.

So what could it be? It's spelled out plainly in 11.6. If your name isn't in italics then the only thing left is missiles and rockets. The key phrase is "will not be italicized," and no birth certificates use italics for the names. Therefore, you are certified to be a rocket. Therefore it's not maritime law that applies, it's Space Law that applies. This is a good thing!

What is Space Law you ask? Until 1967 there was no space law, and most of it is from 1968 and later. If you were "launched" (born) before 1967, then you are free of any law. Even if you were born after 1967 you'll find that Space Law is fairly minimal, with most of it only being in effect if you are launched into outer space.

Did you ever wonder why judges sometimes say that something is "a matter of great gravity"? That makes no sense at all ... until you understand that what they are actually doing is declaring that the outer space portions of Space Law are not in effect. Pretty obvious once you see what's really going on.

How do you apply this knowledge? If you're in court, they'll assume you're not a rocket (or don't know that you've been certified to be a rocket) unless you positively affirm that fact. If you speak to anyone in the courtroom they will take that as an assertion that you want to be tried as a human being, not as a rocket. Some people advocate the "HAL defense," citing Bowman v. Monolith (2001), but this doesn't work. If you utter a single word you lose rocket status in the eyes of the court.

The safe thing to do is to enter the courtroom making rocket noises, and do nothing whatsoever except make rocket noises for the entire time you are in the courtroom. By doing this you show the court that you know that you have been certified to be a rocket as specified under section 11.6 of ISBN 978–0–16–081813–4 as authorized by USC Title 44 § 1105 (form and style of work for departments), Pub. L. 90–620, Oct. 22, 1968, 82 Stat. 1261. Note the date on that legislation. It's not just coincidence that this coincides with the beginning of space law.

If you do nothing but make rocket noises in the courtroom they will acknowledge that you are not under their jurisdiction, but under the Space Law jurisdiction. This acknowledgment may be in the form of them "launching" you from the courtroom, but in any case the hearing will *not* proceed.

It's not for the faint of heart. You have to know exactly what you're doing. People who try it without knowing exactly what they're doing usually make costly mistakes. For example they might think they're making rocket noises, but in fact they're making airplane noises. But they're obviously not an airplane since their name on their birth certificate isn't in italics as it would have to be for an airplane under 11.6, so they just end up looking like they're some crazy dude who thinks he's an airplane. Say hello to the psych ward.

Fortunately I can tell you how to make the right kind of rocket noises, and how loudly to make them, and other tricks you need to know like jumping up and down to demonstrate that this is a matter of gravity and the outer space portions of Space Law were therefore not applicable. Just send $49.99 to me for my booklet that explains all the steps you need to take in order to make the suggested minimum donations to get in on one of my conference calls where I explain, in plain and simple terms that anyone can follow, how to send me money.