Comment: Wouldn't one be enough to cause psychological pain, if you are a

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In reply to comment: I wish I could ask them a few (see in situ)

Wouldn't one be enough to cause psychological pain, if you are a

good person?

I was young and believed the propaganda around the 9/11 attacks, and had been brainwashed by the U.S. Air Force to be even more immature and without empathy. The military's greatest weapon is hate via tribalism.

I was and still am psychologically suffering over fueling up fighter jets in Kuwait to attack Iraqis. I didn't have to look at any video, and it might even be worse to have one's imagination fill in the blanks. Nightmares about little kids being blown into chunks, or screaming in terror as their city blows up around them. Looking at the justification for my actions is what woke me up to the matrix of lies we live in.

I didn't do what I did because I am an evil person, I did what I did because of blind trust that authority was basically good like me and must be making decisions with honorable intentions. I now fully understand evil, I have stared into the abyss, endlessly. I beg God's forgiveness, and await my judgement when this brief existence is over.