Comment: My anxiety problems were from

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My anxiety problems were from

My anxiety problems were from guilt. For a long time I wouldn't let myself understand why I was having issues, because it was uncomfortable to think of myself as having weakness.

Truth is that it wasn't weakness to have anxiety, it was like a strong internal punishment system for having terrified innocents with a brutal bombing campaign. I had to accept my wrongs within, and seek forgiveness with God.

Yes the military does humanitarian work, but that is for PR. Being in the military means being a cog in a large machine that was designed to kill efficiently. I joined a year before 9/11 and thought things would be quite. Never know when a chain of events like a 9/11 could be set into motion. So the question is are the people that are going to put the death machine you are a part of in motion, are they saints? Will it be justified, or convoluted reasoning?

I didn't slice open throats like Rambo, but my fueling planes to bomb Baghdad, terrified and killed innocents. How many died because of my actions? Don't know. How many children where psychologically traumatized by sensing their mother's fear from falling bombs? Don't know.

Honestly it would have been more psychologically justifiable for me to shoot another guy aiming a gun at me. That would be easier to rationalize, because he was a willing fighter, and it would be me or him.

If you do join, I really can't advise enough to get a job that is practical in the civilian world. Make sure it is in your contract when you sign. No general descriptions, or verbal promises from recruiters. Some people go in planning on making a career out of it, but leave after 1 enlistment. Get a skill set you can turn into monthly income if the long haul don't work out. If there is anything else you want to ask, feel free, I didn't know anyone before I joined. I went in blind.