I suggest you throw on some pads and a helmet, then go let them 'fake hit' you a few times. We'll see you when you wake up from your coma in about ten years.
EDIT: You know, just thinking about it, I didn't give you the proper respect on you calling out of the 'fake' NFL. Someone as certain as you surely doesn't need a helmet or pads, so go ahead and leave them in the locker room. Fake football surely doesn't require real pads or helmets.
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