Comment: I'm not lampooning it

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I'm not lampooning it

1. show me one business that accepts an altcoin and I'll at least pay attention?

Why wouldn't you want to accept Dogecoin, for example, if it's as easy with the above service as whatever you're using for bitcoin? I don't know what you're selling but if it's something that appeals to the Doge community there's a lot of love there to go around. I think that also answers the second point about how to accept Dogecoin or Litecoin or whatever, but cash out in USD. There may be other processors besides coinpayments, I didn't look hard.

3. Show me your whole pile of altcoin and show my one single silver dime and guess which one I'll give you $2.50USD for.

Why? Depending on which alt coins and the size of the pile, the alt coins could be worth a lot more than $2.50. The easiest way to cash out might be to convert them to BTC, but you might also be able to arrange a local trade especially with something popular like Litecoin or Dogecoin. A little more work to cash out, but whether that's worth the trouble would depend on how much it's worth, no?

I guess I don't see why you wouldn't want to accept alt coins for your business, and why you'd rather leave money on the table than deign to touch an alt coin.

And in any case, what makes sense for a merchant today is a very different question than the direction the for cryptocurrency technology in the future. My point there was that if you look at the top alt coins, most aren't doing well just because they happen to be popular (like Doge). The second generation alts are up there because they offer, or claim to offer, significant technical improvements over bitcoin. There's clearly demand for what they're offering, and the barriers to competition isn't going to last forever, and bitcoin's ability to evolve is limited.