Comment: Hi I'm Mark Zuckerberg and I sell data

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Hi I'm Mark Zuckerberg and I sell data

I sell it to whoever has the money. FBI, CIA, NSA? We practically live together. I been heaping them with your data for years, it was part of the model. Hey, I got friends in higher, farther and deeper places than you even know exist. But now this relationship is costing my business model. I need to get people's trust back. So I called my buddy Obama. He was watching a movie. Trading Places with Eddie Murphy. I love that one. We had fun reciting our favorite lines. That was neat. Anyways now I'm all about privacy and I'm really concerned.

I'm sooooooooo conceeeeeeeeeeeeeerned. Really really really really really. I'm not government, I'm on your side. I'm just like you. It's those guys you need to watch out for.

Anyways, thanks for listening, I know exactly who you are, I know exactly where you are, I know exactly who you are there with and I know exactly what you are doing. What you feel right now is me cupping your balls.


Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.