I have been in more fights than I can count. It took me a long time to control my rage. I have a bullet scar in my chest, and a stab wound scar in my left leg, and a knife slice scar on my right arm. Oddly enough, I'm white and from a nice, peaceful, middle class neighborhood, and sadly, none of the scars were afflicted in the following stories. ;)
I started fighting when I was around 6 years old. I used to think of myself as the bully liberator, not really thinking about how I was a bully myself. How else could they learn their lesson, right? Wrong, they never learn. This kid was defending himself and I agree with that, but she will never learn her lesson from this. It never even occurred to me until high school to play their game and instead of violence, I can use meaningless words to fight back. Again, wrong, first time I did this I was so proud of myself though.
Around 90% of girls in my k-8 class taunted me. I would switch schools to get a new start, meet new people, and just like my previous school, a girl starts picking on me, and not even to my face. I think, let me play their game. This is only a few weeks into freshman year of HS. My new friend and I are up at the chalk board, and his nails are as long as the chalk, I was like dude, your nails are hitting the board. He replies "you can barely hear it, I bet only dogs could hear it." From the back of the room, a girl I overheard mentioning bad things about me earlier sets herself up and says "Stop scratching the board with your nails!" To which I yell out "Hey I guess your right, only dogs could hear it." Whole room busts out laughing. I am high on a cloud, so proud of myself for standing up to a girl I overheard bad mouthing me. Finally I'm taking a stand, and not with force of violence, for like the first time ever! That was, until 3 periods and a lunch break later, I walk by the classroom and she is still in there crying with 3 people consoling her. I felt horrible, and she was mean to me the rest of high school, and I just let her be. I no longer had the desire to battle her, no matter what she said.
What people didn't realize, is that honorable people do still exist. I consider myself honorable, I always have, and it just doesn't fit in todays society. Honorable men cannot be trusted by people who don't believe they exist. People think you are hiding something, and at least with other guys, they can see what evil is in them, and they can accept it. I'm not saying I don't have demons I fight, but I try hard to not ever show them and with good reason as you'll see later.
I was picked on, in the beginning, by girls. Most people don't realize what it is like, when your between 2nd grade and 6th grade to have girls in your class, flash you, sexually taunt you, and curse you, shouting how you will never be with her or any other girl. It hurts, a lot, especially when your young and don't know what to do about it. This was the majority of girls in my class, and about 90% of how the girls treated me at my first school.
I would let this slide, but when your the bitch, and just allowing girls to treat you poorly, imagine how it looks to other men. Men soon started joining in on the trash talk. Why? Because I was the easy mark.
They never realized the reason I wouldn't fight back was because they were girls, and I knew it would not take a lot to overpower them. Guys saw me taking it from women and started calling me names and all I could do was tell them to walk away. Of course they don't, they push and push, sometimes push literally, until you can't take it anymore, and had to give them a beat down.
I had/have in me, what I used to call when I was very little, "The god of war." I'm a berserker. I possess the ability when I'm angered, to fight, and fight well. I can pump my own adrenaline, my focus and accuracy are increased, and I become stronger and faster. I also lose my mind. I no longer pull my punches, and I will not stop. Many times the only thing that would stop me, was somebody yelling out my name, usually because the other person stopped fighting 20-30 seconds ago.
I did eventually break the demon, when I almost killed one of my own friends, by picking up a heavy rock, around the size of a basketball (slightly larger), and throwing it at a guy I was fighting, only to miss and hit my friends little brother, who was very young and playing in the gutter at the time. Whether or not his life was actually in danger, he went to the hospital and I vowed to repress it. I have not fought since, and I have never been angry since. That was about 12 years ago.
One of the things I learned a few years before I stopped fighting, was bullies will talk shit, and talk shit, and talk shit. You can beat them down, and they are right there the next day doing it again.
Violence never solves the problem. No matter how many times they get beat up, they never learn. I truly hope this girl does learn her lesson, but I can speak from experience, and I'm almost positive she wont. I have plenty more stories, but this is long enough as it is.
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