What I did before to become completely free was to expose myself. This time....I can't even imagine. The degree of shame??? How about my entire life dissolving around me. The relief from touching the ground on the other side is a beautiful daydream. I wish. The fire I would have to walk through first would be unbearable. As far as a lesser addiction, I have tried wine (puts me to sleep), although, my kids think I am a better parent on one shot of rum. Better in the sense that I release my mind from the demons that plague me, I relax, become funny, witty, at ease. But I cannot add one shot of rum to my breakfast routine, what am I teaching my children?
Thank you for your encouragement. I agreed with your whole post. I want to STOP THINKING. There is horror in my thoughts. Sometimes, I feel a moment of peace, joy, love, contentement and POW the truth of my reality storms in and terror reigns once again. I remember when that wasn't true, ahhhh the blessing of peace. But now, I remain on high alert.
Thank you for putting into words things I could not speak. I am very blessed by the DP family. I may not be active much but I read the DP religously, and I have drawn much strength from all of you.
I cannot say thank you enough.
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