Comment: Strong subject.

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In post: On Addiction

Strong subject.

I was a heroin addict for two years,(no needles) and pain killers for about 8 years. (I'm 29)

You're exactly right. It stopped when I decided to stop. I was just killing myself as slow as I could. I seen myself as a failure.(When I told this to my family they cried, saying they always thought I was the one to make it, and I just gave up on life.) 12 steps are a cult and nothing more. Plus it's ironic when they say ditch your past friends and drug friends so then you're surrounded by nothing but people that are ex-druggies. Many of whom are there by judge orders.

I found god, I made amends, I apologized to everyone I had hurt and I moved on. (Didn't attend NA/AA- I found god when I feel over from over-exhaustion and was left for dead in a ghetto- my muscles siezed up, and I collapsed completely, then woke in an ambulance) Since I got clean I decided to become a cyclist.I was clean for a year before anything spiritual happened. I was an atheist crusader for most of my life.

I destroyed my life, and those drugs made me feel ok while doing it. It wasn't fun, it wasn't nice, it was actually hell.

Long story short - the only thing that worked (2 years clean) was suboxone. It blocks the very receptors that cause relapse, and the senses to get heightened when you think about using. It will block any other opiate drugs and help you if you want to help yourself. I have never even had a craving to go back once. (Cost 40-650$ a month)