Why did the chicken cross the road?
Posted June 15th, 2008 by bigmikedude
output
I think anyone that knows me on these forums by now knows I can't look at life without finding humor in it. I caught this in my email today, and couldn't resist sharing it. It's off topic, but kinda on topic too.
.
.
.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!
JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in operation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.
OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...
ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:< B R>
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. that chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple
as that.
GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON:
imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES:
I have just released Chicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#$&&^(C% .........
...reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!
COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?
DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?
AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
EDIT: There wasn't one for Ron Paul. So my question is, what would his answer be?
Bookmark/Search this post with:
Ok. Now, What would Alex
Ok. Now, What would Alex Jones Say?
The chicken crossed the road because the road crossed it first! "Crossing" can be viewed two ways and the neighbors even say that road was not even THERE the day before.
ProspectorSam's
I think this is the REAL reason.
(2) Because there's something happening on the other side of the road, and it's big -- it's REALLY BIG!
Ron Paul "He was in hot
Ron Paul "He was in hot pursuit of Life, Liberty, and Happiness."
Things are only impossible until they are not.
-- Jean Luc Picard
The chicken crossed the road
to buy a gun so it could kill the snake who keeps stealing its eggs. Because the farmer wasn't doing his job and refused to let the chicken defend himself.
"The day is coming, burning like a oven, when all the wicked will be stubble"
Ron Paul:
The chicken crossed the road to follow the Constitution!
(The road to Freedom is full of little bumps!)
Freedom Rules!
Ron Paul's Answer
Ron Paul's answer:
Since 1913 the chicken was unknowingly forced across the road inch by inch. Now it just wants to get back to where it was.
JFK's answer:
The chicken crossed the road not because it was easy but because it was hard.
Hitler's answer:
White chicken can go where ever the hell it wants to.
Bush's answer:
White chicken can go where ever the hell it wants to.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
MAO ZEDONG:
In order to resolve internal contradictions within itself.
9/11 TRUTHER:
It was a false flag operation. The chicken did not cross the road. It was deliberately kicked. How come it wasn't hit by a car? Anyway, chickens are incapable of crossing the road. Ask any zoologist.
FREUD:
To screw his mother and kill his father.
CARL SAGAN:
To explore the cosmos.
NUMEROLOGIST:
Chicken = 3 + 8 + 9 + 3 + 11 + 5 + 14 = 53
NEO-CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN
Because the book of Revelation says the Rapture will come when the Tribe of Chickens occupy the Other Side.
-"Ron Paul cured me of my predilection for Che Guevara T shirts."
All right. I'll bite even though I've seen this in my inbox!!
The chicken crossed the road because it was tired of following the neo-cons who wanted to do everything for it's own good -- which included roasting him in a pot when they thought he wasn't paying attention.
If you're a Nevada delegate or know someone who is, click here!!
http://nevadagopconventio...
Historic moment at WA State Convention at minute 4 here!!
http://www.youtube.com/wa...
Convert a delegate here! www.dvds4delegates.com
chicken a la Paul
Two ways to slice this tomater:
(1) That chicken was sick and tired of what it was getting on this side of the road and it was ready for some real changes!
(2) Because there's something happening on the other side of the road, and it's big -- it's REALLY BIG!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Join the Team! campaignforliberty.com
The chicken crossed the road
because NAFTA left its family of corn farmers in Northern Mexico high and dry without enough money to live their lives or school their chicks. On this side of the road the illegal chicken will be homeless and do the dirty work of others.
You are wrong about the 'homeless' part---
Our tax dollars are building 3 bedroom, 2 bath apartments for farm workers! No need to prove legal status, and, of course, free medical care! apartments cost $350 a month because farm workers are low income. (I got this info at the Republican Party convention recently)
Actually
many illegals in my home state of Colorado do live in shelters and sleep on the streets. How do I know this? Because I speak Spanish and talk to them. A good portion of the illegals hang out all day a block from the shelters downtown and wait for labor jobs. The farm industry is not the only industry that employs illegals.
Before saying someone is wrong, it would be a good idea to do some fact finding.
Here apartments go for about 800-1200 a month, a 3 bedroom closer to 1500 a month.
Thanks for the correction--
This happened in Oregon, low income apartments were built for the farmworkers. I do know it isn't just the farm industry employing illegals, as a large cannery in Portland, OR. was raided and they detained over 150 illegals--some in need of medical care and probably afraid to seek help. Also the meatpacking industry employs illegals. Packing plants are fast moving lines, sharp knives, many accidents----and if an illegal gets injured they wouldn't be likely to report it.
I just think our tax dollars shouldn't be used to feed, shelter, or provide medical care to illegal immigrants. There are people waiting in line to come into this country lawfully, and the illegals are cutting in the front of the line.
Ron Paul..... the chicken
Ron Paul..... the chicken has the right to do what he wants without government intervention, as long as he hurts no one else!
as for me and my home, we shall worship the LORD
Just A Minute Here!
In God We Trust!
If the chicken really crossed the road for freedom and liberty, to get out on his own or for any other reason mentioned here, it did so with reason and determination and therefore is not "chicken" but bold, and so this chicken is in reality not chicken and so this post is null and void.
Sorry to ruin everyone's day! ( cluck cluck ) I mean....chuckle chuckle
Chicken liberty......
http://www.youtube.com/wa...
cute
we gotta video for everything, don't we. I once got a video to explain how to use the visor in my car.
Are you sure the chicken crossed the road?
I just live in my mom and dad's basement and have no job and I am on the computer all day. (I am one of the 'few' Ron Paul supporters)
Well you should get out more
then you would see that of course, the chicken crossed the road. Now what we have to do is get an independent investigation going about why. None of these governmental investigations that stop at the edge of the pavement before he even steps on the pavement.
Do You Want A Real Job?
In God We Trust!
I hope this is not out of line, but in reading Oregon's post about living in the cellar without a job, I want to show you a way to employ yourself with a real job whereby you can work even part time and make a good living for yourself.
If you are interested, let me know and I will send you the information and you can decide. This is not the typical Internet hogwash but a real start your own business that is very easy to do and you don't need any special skills.
Let me know at ds5487 at yahoo dot com and put as your title in the message " Show me please"
Oh...
...so you're the spammer...
I won't take ALL of the credit-----
I am just one of the 'few' crazy basement dwellers'!
The chicken crossed the road
because he was leaving home to get away from bird flu.
He was hurrying across to get in line
to receive his Federal Government Mandated Vaccination for the Bird Flu Pandemic!
GEORGE W. BUSH: Who cares
GEORGE W. BUSH:
Who cares why the chicken crossed the road? Its just a GD chicken!.
LOL! good one..
LOL! good one..
Not in the Constitution.
This is a local issue.
Response
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go from the left to the right.
He stepped out of rank,
Got hit by a tank,
He ain't no chicken no more!
- Stripes
That chicken is no chicken!!! Hehehe
The chicken crossed the road to chase the neocons, err I mean the foxes out of our hen house. Of course faux news reported he was running the wrong way down a one way road with a bunch of kooks in tow... that's my man... ALWAYS going against the flow & never afraid of confronting the true issues. But look out... He is no longer alone..
~~Proud Kook in tow~~
Good posts everyone
Well if you are worried about why the chicken is crossing the road you should become a journalist and go work for one of the major networks. They love to report things that are totally irrelevant to your lives!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ron Paul: Its none of our damned business.Our business is to protect its freedom to do so.
1. The chicken just crossed
1. The chicken just crossed the road, it can just cross back...
ooh, these are tough to come up with...
Because Freedom is Popular!
And the free market moved him to seek a better opportunity across the road.
The chicken
crossed because there was no border fence. Hi mike
lol
Hi Barry.
You have always
been there with your humor. I still remember your comment that your wife dislikes you and hate your computer even more. We were all glued to our computer, so I laughed. Ok, the chicken. Let us get serious now. The chicken per Ron Paul. The chicken lost his way and found he was in a coup that was cramped and uncomfortable. He looked across the road and realised that there was a beautiful green pasture across the street with plenty of corn and grass to roam for freedom. He thought he was alone in his coup because it was the only thing he knew. As he looked over the road he saw many of his kind roaming freely with plenty of corn that grew naturally instead of the meager handouts he was used to. The sun was bright, the fields were green, food was plentiful and the chicken knew he had accepted a way of life because it was all he had known. Now, that he knew what he could have if he just crossed the road it was so easy so he did and never looked back to his life lived in a small chicken coup that he thought was his only home and lived on to live a very wonderful life that he never dreamed he could with all of the rest of his kind. Ok, kind of corny but you asked for it.
lol
Victory, I fixed that problem by the way...... I bought her, her own computer. Heh heh.
Good solution
For a minute there I was afraid you were going to say you left. I get ragged on for being on the computer all of the time too. This morning after reading my post I see I repeated myself a couple of times. I got introduced to an ale that is made by Belgian monks called Chamya or something like that. It was good but is 9% alcohol. After a couple of those I shouln't have been typing anything. Oh well, live and learn I guess. If things don't shape up here soon, I may look the monks up and see if they need help making ale.
That's what my husband did,
That's what my husband did, too. He bought me a new computer, because I had bookmarked the heck out of the old one with information about Ron Paul. Not only that, I had copies of Ron Paul information sitting all over the place. I went through ink cartridge after ink cartridge, and reams and reams of paper. I was making my own bumper stickers and even copied a really nice picture of Ron Paul. (The one where he is talking on the Iphone.) I basically ruined the old computer.
lol
that's awesome!
And who can forget this
And who can forget this bigmike classic?..........
http://www.dailypaul.com/...
(New youtube link)
http://www.youtube.com/wa...
Oh nooooo
Here we go again... Thanks. lol. I forgot all about that. Looks like another 2 weeks for me of walking around the house singing "Munah munah".
Ron Paul's answer
May I take time to answer the question these other gentlemen were asked? Thank you. *cough* The chicken crossed the road because this great country was founded on the principles of liberty--the idea that every legal chicken has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of the other side of the road. And not only that, but the chicken has the right, once he has gained access to the other side of the road through his own hard work and ingenuity, to keep the fruits of his labor. These guys up here with me tonight are no different than the Democrats! They argue semantics. While the Democrats say they want a chicken in every pot, the neo-conservative men I'm standing between promise a pot to cook it in! And neither side seems to care what that means to the chicken! Why not provide the mashed potatoes and side of sweet corn to go with it? I mean as long as we're going to create dinner out of thin air, why don't we just have a smorgasboard? Where does it end? This is absurd and we are a coop that has lost its way! If we continue as we have for the last 30 years, soon there won't even BE any chickens to cross the road! I believe as our founding fathers did that every chicken should be able to cross the road undeterred by the federal government!
Zippy Takes the cup!
I may not be the official judge around here but...
Zippy Takes the cup!
Smorgasboard???????
So much for John Lennon and all the chickens crossing the road together in peace. Sounds like they will cross in pieces.
Hands down.
This needs to go in the title post.
LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Zippymama
lmao! good one!
You win.
You win.
lmao
It's definitely a candidate. An unexpected effect I am noticing --- They are all good because when you read each one, it shows how each and every one of us have absorbed so much from RP. I find that as intriguing as anything else.
Freedom comes
with responsibility. If the chicken crosses the road that is her choice. If she doesn't make it don't expect the government to take from others to support her bad decision. Peace