Government urges return to Stone Age
Submitted by jshowell on Sun, 08/24/2008 - 12:37
The White House and U.S. National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) are urging Americans to return to the stone age for their own safety.
"After discovering that 'thermal expansion' of steel from a low-temperature fire led to the collapse of World Trade Center building 7," said NIST spokesperson Noh Wei, "we started realizing that other metal objects might also be at risk".
So NIST scientists tested other metallic objects using state-of-the-art computer models. The models predicted that every oven and barbeque in the country could disintegrate at any time, leading to a progressive collapse of entire houses.
"We also determined that car engines, airplane engines, and boat engines could all suddenly fail due to thermal expansion," said Wei. "Indeed, we soon realized that almost all industrial processes could lead to catastrophic failure, other than, perhaps, those used in freezers."
White House spokesman Phil Johnson agreed, saying
"Once you understand this principle of thermal expansion, you start to realize that even household showerheads and faucets are dangerous. The hot water flowing through them could wreak havoc. The President is committed to leading the way back to a safer time, and a return to proven, traditional materials - which may not be flashy like metal - but remain rock-solid even when warm."
A Fact Sheet from NIST provides recommendations and safety guidelines based on the new thermal expansion discoveries:
Is Metal Safe?
While it was previously assumed that metal was safe, scientists have now discovered that steel and other metals can suddenly fail due to exposure to heat. NIST urges everyone to stop using metal, and to reassess possible replacements with stone materials.
Sunlight
Sunlight can warm up metal. Therefore, no metal should be used where any sun exposure is possible.
If people choose to continue using metal, we urge them to live underground, to protect against the dangers of sunlight.
http://georgewashington2.blogspot.com/2008/08/government-urg...
priceless
priceless
Ha!
Reminds me of the one about the computer virus getting into the toaster . . . .
Excellent satire!
There are some who will think it's serious though.
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Got to say
I was confused and did not know what to think. The government spins so many fairy tales.
I wonder what reaction they would
Have if we came and knocked on their door. I am talking about the so called NIST scientists and engieneers.. I don't mean threaten them just show up with about 1,000 or so people and knock on their door and ask them how much it's worth to kill this many people and continue to cover up the fact that Demolitions were used to bring down the WTC buildings.
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I did this with a former
I did this with a former prof of mine who was involved in the NIST "research project" on the two towers. My experience is that they know far less than you would think. He seemed to genuinely believe the hog wash, though he disagreed with critical points. I must say that this guy was a relatively bit player. He made the fire temp equation, but he didn't do anything with it beyond give it to the people running the project.
I wish I were still in school. One of the primary people in the project is a Civil Engineering prof at Purdue. I'd like to go back and knock on his door.
____________________________________________________
"Freedom suppressed and again regained bites with keener fangs than freedom never endangered." -- Cicero
____________________________________________________
"Freedom suppressed and again regained bites with keener fangs than freedom never endangered." -- Cicero
You'll get a kick out of this then.
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If heat is all that is
If heat is all that is needed to bring down a building, then no longer should it be necessary to use demolition crews to bring down buildings in the future, just start the building on fire.
Thanks. I needed that!
What a screeeeeeam! Hilarious! But wait, what about that metal plate in my head? I'm outside in the sun right now! My head just collapsed at free fall speed, but not due to explosives which someone would have heard (even though numerous eye-witnessess will testify that they heard explosions, the NIST says no one could have heard explosions because someone would have heard them).
leaving behind only two
leaving behind only two footprints, of course...
~~~ Citizenship is not a spectator sport! ~~~
~~~ Citizenship is not a spectator sport! ~~~
Hmm..maybe we can figure out
Hmm..maybe we can figure out a way to collapse the mint with all those coins in there..maybe all they need is a strong, discrete solar panel...
LOL.
I just realized you had already posted this topic... after I created a thread..
got rid of it. and am bumping yours
The war on your mind -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klSek88t54w
Real Patriots for 9/11 truth -- http://patriotsquestion911.com/
Find out if you have a local militia - http://www.uaff.us/
Real Patriots for 9/11 truth -- http://patriotsquestion911.com/
melting steel
How come the windows didn't melt first, Eh?
'I always think of all you canvassors and precinct leaders and delegates at the front line and caucuses.
Good luck out there &Thank you. You're a gift.
'I always thank of all you canvassors and precinct leaders and delegates who were at the front line and caucuses.
Good luck out there &Thank you. You're a gift.
In the interim, don't put a building on top of your BBQ
Hot metal is softer than cold. When it is holding up a meat patty, it should do okay, but heating it with weight applied would not be good.
I think I've seen blacksmiths bend iron with their, admittedly, big muscles, but it didn't take the weight of a building to do it.
Metal that expands in a building is an interesting problem.
We've had to retrofit overpasses in California for earthquake, because it is the concrete that resists compression and the steel that gives it tensile strength. Some overpass designs were flawed because once the concrete cracks away from supporting pillars, the steel bends from the weight. They weren't designed to be supported by the steel, alone.
If the steel expanded enough to shove a weight bearing member off of a support... If connections were sheared... If the supports cracked or crumbled...
I haven't read the report and I'm not an engineer, but I just don't see structural failure as an unlikely scenario, especially in a building that had, in effect, experienced two earthquakes shortly before.
IMissLiberty
IMissLiberty
Those Buildings
Came down in strait uniform fashion. They were being reduced to dust at they were coming down. Now consider the thermal expansion conspiracy theory for a moment... They ( NIST ) say that the heat radiated evenly through out WTC7 causing the steel to bend, causing a universal collapse of WTC7. All steel supports would have to go at the same time and be equally weakened. What you would have witnessed here would have been a cave in to a degree, a topple over to a degree, a pile up to a degree, BUT NOT COMPLETE REDUCTION TO DUST. SO, SCREW YOU NIST. IS THAT ALL YOU PANSEYS CAN COME UP WITH? YOU F-ING TRAITORS.
I agree 2b
I agree 2b
therm exp
NO COMMENT
see to your liberty
Noh Wei you think this is a true story
"...NIST spokesperson Noh Wei..."
This is, I highly suspect, an Onion-esque report. Not that anything is out of the realm of possibility these days, though!