Help say fare well to my father? UP-DATE 06-20-09
Submitted by livefreeordie on Tue, 06/09/2009 - 02:31
Tonight, there is a blood red moon from my small point of view on earth. What clouds linger in the sky seem very dark and I can ‘feel’ their weight upon my shoulders. That damn moon mostly just peers around the clouds, but at times jumps out in all it’s fury to remind me that it is there. The large trees that I left to grow when building this barn for my family to live in, have turned to hideous webs and forms of demons. Their shapes and their constant movement in the night breeze keep my mind racing to keep up, get away, or close down. Tonight is the same as the night before, and the one before that. I look for signs, that are not there. I jump at the sound of even the smallest of the night creatures. Even so, I envy their freedom and care-free life. I MUST be the most self centered, selfish person, that God ever created to walk upon this earth. I cannot begin to explain to you what I am going through. I am hard pressed to even try because I know I will fall way short of describing the turmoil inside of me at this time. I should have none, but it is an overwhelming feeling of defeat and loss. I am at a loss to describe it further. Some of you have been through this and found the strength to survive and the will to keep going. I am watching my father die, right here, right now, before my eyes and all I seem capable of thinking is that I‘ll miss him. How damn selfish can a person be? He’s dieing and I’m worried about missing him… Hospice, told us he would only live 12-24 hours….that was a week ago. This WWII vet still has a hell of a lot of fight left in him. I AM my Fathers son. He said he would die in his own home. He has always led by example. His death will be no different, he will die in his home. Tomorrow, Hospice will be bringing him a hospital bed and starting him on morphine. I thank God for them and all that they do. It was all I could do to let them do their job when they came out today to change his bandage, pajamas and give him a sponge bath. I have never heard my father yell in pain (although he has hardly any voice left) as I did today. I am 43 years old, on the 28th of this month, I will be another year older…and my Father will be dead. I AM MY FATHERS SON. It is because of his teaching, of the Constitution, and the FREEDOMS that it brings, that I Got involved with all of you fellow mal-contents. It is from HIS passion that I draw my own. I WILL LIVE FREE OR DIE. My father has never spoken abut WWII. I have been told he joined the merchant marine at 15 years of age and was the last ’military’ police man off of Bikini Atoll, before the A-bomb test. He has NEVER spoken of his rolls in the war. At this point it is moot, He never uttered a word, he never bragged. Yet there are people here who think large numbers of people can’t keep a secret? My father has. And in the mean time, there is my mother. She has been at fathers side 24 hrs a day for….ever (they are just a couple months from their 50th anniversary). I could and will, in later days, go on about my father. Right now, my main concern is for my mother. My Father is dead, he just doesn’t know it yet and every moment that I can have with him while he is in a current mind state is a blessing that no-one should have to live to see, but for those of us that do go through this, every moment, hinges on that last word. Seeking just one more word of wisdom, advice, or a “I forgive you”, or “ I love you”. And I do love you father.
To the members of the Daily Paul, you have been a family for a long time, and I ask this one request. For my mother, please send her a card letting her know how much my father promoted the return to freedom by example and educating his children. Use fictitious names, mail them from across town. (Do what you feel you must to protect your I.D.’s)
Let my mother know that her husband raised 7 freedom fighters and that she should be proud. I know it’s a small token after loosing your spouse, but little is better than nothing, and anything will be appreciated. There will be no reply’s, so please except my thanks before hand. My Fathers name is/was Donald.
Send to: Carol Carey
192 bethel road
Long lane, MO. 65590
I am, and shall always be, YOUR servant for freedom, Clay Carey
P.S. you have my Father to thank for it.
Final up date.............06-19-09
My father passed away, in his sleep, at 7:30 this morning. I thank God for ending his suffering. A better 'Fathers day' gift could not have been given. He is now with so many friends and family that for the day I think he will not be watching over us..good for him. Again, my thoughts turn to my mother... she is biult of iron and has "handled" this in a manner that very few could have. I have yet to see her cry or show emotion. I know that that time is coming. Some times the "revolution" is just not inportant. Neither is gaining public office. Some times, it is better to be human. To reliese that we are here for only a short time, That what we feel compeld to do, we must do. For give the spelling and typo's.......I can no longer see the key board. Please keep sending the cards and letters (My mother) has found much relieve in them. ( non a side note, the writting on the letters she has revcieved is damn near perfect. She has still not let any of us children read the letters. I am at a loss for words. I will delete this post by the weekend. MY father is now dead, could we honor him by helping to edecate other people?
For the most part, I have
For the most part, I have been passing the day on whiskey and sleep.
I cannot find the words to let you all know how much YOUR words have met to my mother,family and me. (Mother and I are polar opposits. I get to read what is here, and she gets to read your cards and letters) Some day she may decide to let the rest of the family read them? Every one that came to my box was delivered to her un-opened. If your intilect is as good as your hand writing...I am sure that mother found GREAT relief in your support. I ask God to bless each and every one of you. From my family.....to...my family.... I thank you for your support, for your kind words, and for turning your attention, how ever briefly to my family.
God bless you all
tomarrow, When I wake, I will print this thread as a memorial to my father and give it to mother. I will never cry for dad agian (i think) and I will get on with saving what I can of our liberty's.
YOUR servant for freedom, Clay Carey
The Card is on theway to the mail.
------
Libera me, let the truth break, what my fears make..
Libera me......from this dark dream, to the life-stream! --Leslie Phillips
What's next after End the Fed? Repeal the XVI and XVII Amendments!
We do not need to get good laws to restrain bad people,
we need to get good people to restrain bad laws. --
--G.K. Chesterton
Hugs.
More hugs.
My condolences
clay.
-
My sincere condolences to you and your family, Clay.
Peace be with you,
May his memory be eternal and may God remember him in His kingdom.
LivingTheDream
If Freedom Is Highly Prized in Heaven .....
and I believe it is (Many have paid for it with their lives) -- Clay, your father is a rich Man!
(thoughtful post, Livingthe Dream, I agree)
------
Libera me, let the truth break, what my fears make..
Libera me......from this dark dream, to the life-stream! --Leslie Phillips
What's next after End the Fed? Repeal the XVI and XVII Amendments!
We do not need to get good laws to restrain bad people,
we need to get good people to restrain bad laws. --
--G.K. Chesterton
I sent your mom a card today--
Please let her know that we care, and we appreciate that she and your father raised a good family that believes in Liberty.
My condolences to you
and yours
Freedom is not: doing everything you want to.
Freedom is: not having to do what you don't want to do.
~ Joyce Meyer
Yes, Clay, we will honor your father by continuing to educate
others for as long as it takes us. Sincerest sympathies to you and your family at this sad time.
I Send my Regards to you & yours Clay
_________________________________________
sdrawkcab gnihtyreve od deF eht & tnemrevog ehT
Fibonacci Farm
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000854898716&ref=s...
Thanks Donald
Clay
I know what you are going through. You are not selfish for only being able to think about missing your dad, this too will pass. you've been shellshocked, you'll gain perspective everyday. I still do going on 8 plus years since my mother passed. Hang in there, we are here for you, and if you can't go on any longer, we'll carry you through it
Irish poem for you my friend
"God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered “come to me.” With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest.God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best."
"A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought."
- Dorothy L. Sayers
Clay, we are lifting you and your family
up in prayer during this time. I had read this when you first wrote it, and very soon after, while writing a father's day card to my dad, I wrote all the things I wanted to say to him before he died, but never had. Thank you, you gave me the inspiration to do this. Praying for you and yours.
Clay, thank you for reminding us of
what is truly most important. I am sorry for your family's loss and know you take comfort in all he has given to you and to the world.
Love is all that really matters*)
"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government -- lest it come to dominate our lives and interests."
-- Patrick Henry
___________________
Jake Towne✌Stop The War✌Money Bomb March 29
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/128960
UP-DATE 6-17-09
I apologize for posting my up date here in the thread line. I did /do not know how much more I could add to the original post or how to show it as an up date.
Dad, as expected, has continued to deteriorate in health. He is now on morphine and sleep meds hourly. Hospice is at a loss to explain what has kept him going this long and told us today that he will not make it to the weekend. (We heard that weeks ago) He has not eaten for several days now and his ribs are far above his belly. He has not been able to move much or speak at all for the last two days. I have never seen my father so helpless.
I got busted! I was planning to save all your cards and letters for mom until after dad passed on. The mailman, however, knew mom did not live with me. I was questioned about what D.P. thread I had posted, what was said, ect. She has dial up and due to the rain we could not pull this thread up for her to see. I copied it and took it down to her with the one letter for her that I had received on the 12th. She may never admit it, but I firmly believe your words have given her new found strength. She has really been through hell these past few weeks. (In keeping my manhood, I blamed the original post on shock, Darvecet, xanax, and whiskey) I am over the shock, passed denial, and dwelling on acceptance. Please keep those cards and letters coming for my mother. She reads them at night to help stay awake. They are a comfort to her. She did ask me to tell you all thank you. I told her when she was ready I would be glad to post a letter of thanks from her on here. She has chosen, at this time, not to share them with the family.
For those of the Christian faith, there has been two events this week that I will share with you. When dad could speak, he stated that he really didn’t expect to wake up that morning and that there must be something he has not repented of, as the only reason for still being here. Mother reminded him to ask repentance for ALL his sins and that would cover even the ones he had forgotten. That seemed to give him comfort because then he told her that for the past week, he had been getting up early and exercising and walking around the room, feeling better than he ever had before. He would have done some work but didn’t want to wake up his old self in that bed because that just would have woke up mom who was napping. Then his head would start to hurt, so he would lay back down beside himself. Real or imagined, I believe it shows he is very close to passing over now.
On behalf of my family, I thank you for your prayers and the cards and letters.
Clay, you are held tenderly in my heart
Your tale of your father dancing between the worlds is meaningful to non-Christians, too. One of the great blessings of my mother's passing was the knowledge that her feisty spirit was no longer trapped in that lame body. That does not diminish how much I miss her, or Dad, though.
hi
I ask your understanding. I my focus was on my dad and not the "politicaly correct". I am not able at this time to focus my attention on uch more than dad. I should have been more" politicaly correct' and subserveant to the powers that be. At this point in my life.. I don't give a crabs ass. My Father is now dead. While I celebrate his moving on, I also morn the loss.
Please understand.... this reply is not intended to provoke you in any way shape or form. Today, is the first day, of the rest of my life, that I will not have my fathers influence. I will miss that.\
YOUR servent for freedojm, Clay Carey
A legacy.
Aww Clay...I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You are a fine, fine son. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family tonight. A card will soon be on its way.
Thanks
What a fine son you are. Your Father must be very proud of the freedom fighters he has helped raise. Thanks for sharing your painful story as we suffer with you in this game of life. I wish you peace my brother.
Wow Clay I'm so grateful
Wow Clay I'm so grateful that Anisha bumped this thread. You are a true poet. I am very humbled to read your heartfelt tale. A card is on it's way.
Clay
there are many people out there who did not miss their fathers when they died, be glad that you WILL miss him and find comfort in that. It is very special to be able to miss someone when they die, it means the world has not turned you cold, and that you had a great man to grow up with. God bless.
Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must. like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.-Thomas Paine
The R3volution requires action, not observation!!!!
Tog, I am sorry you did not have good relations with your dad...
such a shame!
Haven't heard from you in a long time, how are you doing and how is your sister?
What are you fightin' for?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
What are you fightin' for?
Caught in the middle?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
This is another of many reasons why I love Daily Paul
I have read some of the most caring and loving people here on this thread and many other threads as well.
Wow. This reminds me of what neighborhoods 'used' to be like when I was growing up. Now its 'virtual' neighborhoods on websites like this. ha ha
liveordie, I am thinking about you and your family right now and how are things with you?
www.cc2009.us
Bob Schulz 165 minute Webinar
http://www.republicmagazine.com/webinar/bob-schulz-continent...
Bump for Dads.....
I lost my Pops a few years ago
and think about him and his great
wisdom every day.
That was a great tribute to your Dad.
I have written a card to your dear Mother.
I am deeply touched by this. Again, thank you for allowing us all a chance to contribute to something meaningful.
Frankly, not one Memorial day has affected me so deeply until you shared your own experience like this. I feel blessed.
www.cc2009.us
Bob Schulz 165 minute Webinar
http://www.republicmagazine.com/webinar/bob-schulz-continent...
Let this be your anthem
for you and your Father.
THE MINSTREL BOY
by Thomas Moore
The Minstrel Boy to the war is gone
In the ranks of death you will find him;
His father's sword he hath girded on,
And his wild harp slung behind him;"
Land of Song!" said the warrior bard,
"Tho' all the world betrays thee,
One sword, at least, thy rights shall guard,
One faithful harp shall praise thee!"
The Minstrel fell! But the foeman's chain
Could not bring that proud soul under;
The harp he lov'd ne'er spoke again,
For he tore its chords asunder;
And said "No chains shall sully thee,
Thou soul of love and brav'ry!
Thy songs were made for the pure and free,
They shall never sound in slavery!"
WWII - "Minstrel Boy" by Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vfsIr9HLYY&feature=related
Peace
"where the Spirit of the LORD is, there is Liberty." 2 Cor. 3:17
Restore the Republic
"Interventionism, corporatism, and crony capitalism" have caused this, not free enterprise. -- Ron Paul
My Father
is 93 yrs old. Still going strong. A WII vet of the buldge. I can feel your sorrow. For when the time comes I will also be missing someone special in my life. May god be with your father, mother and you.
***********Ron Paul for POTUS 2012***********
*************Obama Is A Communist!************
**********Repeal the 17th Amendment**********
Double the size of the House of Representatives
We have lost the closeness of our Representatives.
***********Ron Paul for POTUS 2012***********
*************Obama Is A Communist!************
**********Repeal the 17th Amendment**********
Double the size of the House of Representatives
$$$$$$$$$AUDIT THE FEDERAL RESERVE$$$$$$$$$$
Any update??
What are you fightin' for?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
What are you fightin' for?
Caught in the middle?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
No change in dad.....I visit
No change in dad.....I visit every day.
He told my mom that "it seems like everyone of the kids have been here this week, make me think they think I'm dieing".
Also, yesterday he was watching a western, he said, "I hear indians and all I can see is a big 747 coming out of the sky's to get me....how's that for being messed up".
There has been some humor come from this. I am over the 'shock' I guess?
I understand EXACTLY what you mean!
When my grandfather was in and out of rehab after suffering a stroke (perhaps mild heart attack), we all kinda knew that he wouldn't recover although there were moments when he acted humorously (like pulling a fire alarm in an attempt to get out of the "crazy" place lol). When he ended up in hospice care we all knew the inevitable...
And my grandmother's health just plummeted straight downhill after she broke her hip just after this past Thanksgiving, she was 91 and we were at the point where we knew that was it for her too.
May you find peace at this time.
What are you fightin' for?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
What are you fightin' for?
Caught in the middle?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
With a heavy heart,
I too will help you say farewell (having lost my daddy just 8 weeks ago). He also never spoke of the War. When asked, he would always say he was a Baker, but never anything about the actual war effort. After his death we learned that he was at the Normandy invasion. I have always been proud of my daddy, but I must tell you, my heart hurt when I learned of this as he carried the memories alone for so many many years. I guess secrets can be kept to the grave.
God bless you and your dear mother during this time
It's wonderful of you to share this with us.
My father, also a WWII vet, died in 2004, and I still miss him today. (Mom died in 1976 but that's another story.) He spoke a little about the war in the few years before he died, but never said much. I wish I had thought to have a tape recorder. Despite what some have said, I truly believe they were the greatest generation. Will send a card to your Mom. Bless you and your family.
Clay
thank you for sharing this with us so eloquently. My parents were married just short of 53 years when dad died and I was so worried about mom. Your mom is stronger than you realize. Give her a project that she will love and it will help her through this. I had my mom redo her kitchen. She said, it helped because she had to pick out things etc. It was something she had wanted done for a long time and she was so proud of it when it was done. It made her realize that she would be ok, because she had accomplished this by herself. If your mom is a gardener maybe she could design a garden plot in honor of your dad. The point is have faith that the family will get through this together and your dad would want you to. I will send a card to you mom. Best Wishes and Peace
Blessings fellow patriot
And a big thanks to your father for his sacrifice and heritage...
Thank you for opening the window to your heart
I experienced a comparable crisis within my family as well, I lost my beloved step-mother to lung cancer at 49 and my best friend's husband at age 42 to prostate cancer. With both cases, nearing the end, I witnessed many "supernatural" occurrences that solidified my belief and hope that we shall one day be reunited.
May you find peace and comfort. I will send a card to your family and pray for you.
***
Freedom is not: doing everything you want to.
Freedom is: not having to do what you don't want to do.
~ Joyce Meyer
Freedom is not: doing everything you want to.
Freedom is: not having to do what you don't want to do.
~ Joyce Meyer
My heartfelt sympathy
Clay, I am so sorry to hear you and your family are going through this. Your Father will always live on through you and your family and I am sure he must know you will continue to honor his life and memory in ways that he would be proud.
My Father has Kidney cancer for two years now and is nearing the last few months. I tried to go trout fishing with him last week but he could barely walk around the house. It is a hard thing to witness but a blessing at the same time to be there all you can to the last minute.
In 2006 I lost my Mom and I was holding her hand as she passed...I physically felt her energy lift up and away. She comes to me in dreams and lets me know she is happy and that I will see her again.
Cherish each moment you have left and may you find the strength to bear this loss and support your Mom and siblings.
Peace and Love to You and Yours
*
"I truly wish that real life would no longer surpass the worst excesses of my nightmarish imaginings... Arthur Silber **
"I think we are living in a world of lies: lies that don't even know they are lies, because they are the children and grandchildren of lies." ~ Chris Floyd
Bless you
I tended my mother during her last days. After losing my father suddenly (massive MI, literally dropped dead) that time with her was such a gift.
I want to warn you about something I did not expect. The state will send you a document declaring you an orphan. I was in my 40's, and it still was devastating.
paul4won, ???
Why would one be declared an orphan, when Clay has stated quite clearly - his mother is still alive !
You are right, I was lost in my own memory at that moment
And the state was Pennsylvania, to the poster below.
What???
Never heard of such a thing. What state is that?
My deepest sympathies, my father left me far too young, too
I was in my 30s and still mostly asleep. I knew he worked on Barry Goldwater's campaign, and many times longed for his counsel during the Ron Paul movement. I often wondered how much he knew, he never spoke of it to me. I found out last week he and Ayn Rand were friends. I have been grieving that loss all over again. He was a kind man, brilliant and humble, and he would have given so much to this cause...
Clay, if it is not too late, please tell you father "Thank you" for me. And thanks to you.
Clay,
Honor your father's legacy by living the rest of your life in a manner that he will always be proud of you.
He will be watching you !
My sincere condolences go out at this time to you, your mother, and your family.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with your 'extended family'.
Peace, brother.
Your Father's Son Shines
We are never really ready for such events. These things don't immediately sink in. Remember him for all you shared and for all you learned from him. Trust he has to be proud of all you've become.
You honor his memory by your devotions to the ideals he helped you internalize. Atention to the rest of your family now will be your best consolation.
Deep heartfelt condolences.
hello clay
what you wrote is very beautiful. your father sounds like a beautiful also and has taught you well.
he will now get his rest.
you are indeed blessed.
i will send a card to your mom.
god bless you clay.
Ron Paul is my President
Ron Paul is My President
Reading this makes me sad
Reading this makes me sad and happy at the same time. Happy because of what you shared with us about your father and what he has taught you about freedom. Also happy because it reminds me so much about my grandfather who passed on over a decade ago...
I'm also sad because it seems now that my grandmother's time is coming soon as well. I hope and wish with every bit of my heart that she gets better and that she can be with us for a least while longer. My grandmother has been on hospice as well, in the hospital now and she should be home again in the next few days. I know exactly what you mean about wanting that last word and conversation. The morphine and other pain killers have had my grandmother anywhere from slightly incoherent to very incoherent for the past 2 months or so...
Mother's day morning, for a few hours, was the first day in 4-6 weeks that my grandmother seemed to be very much herself again. That lasted only a few hours, since the meds kicked in again, but those few hours made me so happy. I told my grandmother that we're supposed to be appreciating her on mother's day and giving her a gift, yet she gave me the best gift ever on that day - just to see her and talk to her in her normal state of mind again, at least for a little while, meant the world to me. I still hold on to a bit of hope that she will get better, but we learned just the other day that her medical issues are even worse than we originally were aware of.
livefreeordie, I hope you and your family are doing well and that when your Dad's time does come that it comes peacefully. Your friends here at DP are thinking of you and yours.
I hear ya john2k...as I mentioned below I lost two of my three
grandparents in recent months/years, I just had to come to terms with it. My heart goes out to you too.
What are you fightin' for?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
What are you fightin' for?
Caught in the middle?
Freedom is only for those with the guts to defend it!
Thank you for honoring us by sharing
this with us. Your father accomplished so much good in his life, and his good works will be multiplied by all of his family. I will send my appreciation of him to your mother.
My Regards to you and yours Clay
He sounds like a great man. A real man. Much to be proud of.
_________________________________________
sdrawkcab gnihtyreve od deF eht & tnemrevog ehT
Fibonacci Farm
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000854898716&ref=s...
And a fighter you are from a
And a fighter you are from a seed somebody else has thrown. Your parents can be very proud of you and your siblings. Glad to know you. Just do the steps that you've been shown.
For a dancer (for a fighter)
Keep a fire burning in your eye
Pay attention to the open sky
You never know what will be coming down
I don't remember losing track of you
You were always dancing in and out of view
I must have thought you'd always be around
Always keeping things real by playing the clown
Now you're nowhere to be found
I don't know what happens when people die
Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can't sing
I can't help listening
And I can't help feeling stupid standing 'round
Crying as they ease you down
'Cause I know that you'd rather we were dancing
Dancing our sorrow away
(Right on dancing)
No matter what fate chooses to play
(There's nothing you can do about it anyway)
Just do the steps that you've been shown
By everyone you've ever known
Until the dance becomes your very own
No matter how close to yours
Another's steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you'll do alone
Keep a fire for the human race
Let your prayers go drifting into space
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don't let the uncertainty turn you around
(The world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound
Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you'll never know
(c) 1974 SWALLOW TURN MUSIC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12E3EgTXk1A